Let Me Go [Sequel to Lost, Hopeless, and Destroyed]

Chapter 36

"Where do you think you're going bitch?!" The main guy stopped me and knocked my books out of my arms and they fell to the floor.

I hurry to go pick them up and get the hell out of here. The hallways were probably empty by now.

I bent down and as soon as I almost got all my books for class, I felt a sharp pain in my side.

One of them kicked me. I feel to the floor compeltely. Grasping my side.

The pain was horrible.

"Look at the little baby squirm," One of them said in a whiney voice.

"Want some more ugly slut?" The guy spat at me again and kicked me in the ribs and stomach. 

I cried out in pain. Curled up as much as possible, hoping to god they would stop. I couldn't take it anymore.

"Let's go," He said. "I can't stand to look at her ugly fat ass anymore." They laughed and walked away.

I slowly got up, the pain shooting everywhere in my body.

I opened my locker and put my books back in there. I closed it and I picked up my backpack from the floor.

I started walking towards the nearest girls bathroom, which thankfully was in sight from where I was.

I didn't see anyone in the halls. Where were the security guards and hall people?

It doesn't matter, no one saw anyway, it's not like they'd care about someone like me.

My wrists and thighs were itching for relief.

I try to hurry and make my way into the bathroom and went into the big stall, locking it.

I opened my backpack and pulled out a small box. I opened it and there they were.

My two razor blades.

My friends.

My pleasure.

I take it out quickly and roll up my hoodie sleeve.

I can't do it on my thighs because Zach will see if we make love, and if I keep making excuses not to, he will know something is up.

But I don't always have to take off my shirt. I can just say I'm cold, right?

Zach told me to call him If I ever had the urge to hurt myself.

But he's in class, I can't interupt his learning because of my selfish habits.

That's pathetic.

I sit down in the corner and put my back against the wall.

I put the razor to my skin and press down and slide the sharp edge aross my wrist.

Blood already starts to surface. I make another 5 cuts down my forearm.

My breathing hitched and my body soothing.

My body goes numb and all I can focus on is the blood trickling down my arm, onto the floor.

I close my eyes and focus on the pain I gave myself, and distract myself from the pain I was given by those assholes.

And whoever else has ever caused me any type of pain.

I stay there for about 20 minutes. I clean up my arm and the floor.

I was disappointed in myself but it had to be done.

It's the only way I can cope, now that I'm trying to recover from my eating disorder.