Let Me Go [Sequel to Lost, Hopeless, and Destroyed]

Chapter 37

*Autumn's POV*

-2 hours ago-

It's a saturday.

And it's really nice weather outside.

I was trying to think of something to do when Zach called me.

"Hello?"

"Hey princess."

"Hey buttercup, whats up?"

"Not much, I was just thinking maybe I could come over?" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Sure babe."

"Okay, great. I'll be over soon."

"Okay, just let yourself in."

"Alright. See you then beautiful." He said.

"Okay.. handsome." I said, smiling. I then ended the call.

I waited for Zach to get here. In the mean time I just sat on my bed, petting my cat, Snickers and trying to think of something to do today with Zach.

----

I hear my bedroom door open.

I see Zach.

"Hey baby!" I yell and jump onto him and hug him.

He holds me, still hugging. "Haha, hey beautiful." He laughs cheekly.

We sit down and talk for a bit. Then, Zach asks me a question. "Hey, what do you say we head to the beach. It's such a nice day out." He says, hoping I will say yes.

"Oh that sounds great! I-" I stop myself mid sentence. "I- I would love to but, I just don't really feel like it."

I can't let him find out. He will die.

"That doesn't make sense hun," He laughed playfully.

"Yes it does!" I argued.

He gave me a questioning look, while his smile faded.

I huff and turn around, walking to my dresser. I start playing with things it, making it look like I'm doing something for a reason or purpose.

Then I feel Zach come a little closer from behind me.

"Auts?"

"Yeah?" I say, sounded a little annoyed. My back still facing him.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?"

I have been being bullied and I relapsed on my self harm and now I cut almost everyday.

"No. Why?"

"Well, you've been acting weird lately. I just wanted to see what was going on."

I turn to face him.

"No I haven't!"

"See, right there, you snap for no reason. Why are you so sensitive with everything I say?"

"I'm not.. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. Must be PMS or something."

"You claim you had that two weeks ago Autumn." He says questionly.

"What?! I'm sorry I'm a girl with emotions, jeez!" I try to walk away.

But he stops me.

He stares at me for a moment.

"What?" I break the silence.

He takes a breath before talking.

"You're not starving yourself again, are you?"

"No! Of course not!"

He gives me a look.

"What? Don't you trust me?" I said, eyes wide and eyebrows raised.

"Because you have lied about this stuff before."

"That's because I was sick," I huffed. "I'm a different person now that I've been to treatment."

His eyes drop to my thighs. "You haven't been cutting have you?"

"What?! Don't be stupid!"

"Show me."

"Excuse me?"

"I said show me. Prove it to me and then I won't have bother you about this again."

I angrly and quickly pulled down my sweat pants. Revealing fading scars.

"Told you!" I hissed, pulling my sweat pants back up in a rush.

"I'm sorry, Autumn."

"Damn right!" I said bitterly.

He reached his hand out to me, trying to pull me in for a hug.

I pulled back and pushed up away. "You don't trust me now, is that it?"

"Well you did cheat on me!"

HE. DID. NOT. JUST. SAY. THAT.

My mouth open wide, shocked.

"DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST BRING THAT UP?! YOU BRING UP ONE OF THE WORST MISTAKES THAT I'VE EVER DONE?! THANKS A FUCKING LOT." I yell, trying to leave my house.

"Wait-"

"No Zach! Just please leave me alone!" I yell, my voice cracking, trying to keep myself from crying in front of him.

I storm out of my house and run until I can't anymore.

Bawling my eyes out in the process.

----

It's been 2 hours and it's now almost dark.

I found a public park to stay at.

Just to clear my mind and think a little I guess.

I sit on the swing. No one is here.

I can hear the owl's hooting. The darkness getting nearer and nearer.

I take a deep breath and slowly swing, but just a little. Back and fourth, letting my sandles graze the sand below me.

I started to tear up again.

I couldn't hold it in anymore.

Me and Zach have been doing a lot of fighting lately.

It's just not the same since I've gotten out of treatment.

I know I shouldn't have snapped like that but after everything we have been through, he just has to do that?

I know I made a huge mistake, and I will regret it for the rest of my life. But Zach also knows who I am. We grew up together, me and him.

He knows I never meant to, I still did it, but we agreed we would move on and leave that behind us.

But noooo, he just had to bring it up!

I'm fragile enough as it is!

Im being bullied, hurting myself, hurting others.. It just never ends.

Sometimes I wish my suicide attempt would have worked, but at other times, I'm glad it didn't.

I'm just so confused all the time now days.

And I don't know why.

I don't know why I even bother trying anymore.

I really don't...