Sarcastic Queen || a.g. & 1D

23 》Revelations

N I A L L

"You know, I admit I am a coward but I need to man up. Just this time, I want to prove myself that I am no longer the teenage silly boy you thought I was. There are so many reasons why I shouldn't love you but I kept on following the one reason that is left." I glanced at her for a while. I saw her eyes longing for an answer.

"I love you, as simple as that."

She took a huge breathe, and looked at me with those brown eyes that I have been fascinated with ever since. Those brown eyes that shows how broken she is. How she needs someone to give her shelter and love.

"Seriously?" She laughed. "You love me? You love Ariana Grande? The one with the broken soul and horrible past?"

I smiled. "Yes, you. The person who gave me such a bitchy attitude on the first day we bumped into each other. The person who I thought was perfect. When I first saw you, I liked you then. You were perfect but when you showed me the real you, the imperfect and fragile one, I liked- now, loved you even more."

I held her warm hands while saying those. A while ago, I texted Ariana to meet me at the backyard of this massive house where no one could see us. I really hoped that she's come so that I could tell what has been bugging me after she'd left me that day and hopped at Harry's bike. I haven't had a decent sleep tht night and tried to just wag it off my mind but she's like an alarm clock on my head.

She tried to get her hand back but I didn't let her. She took a huge breath and this time she spoke of something I didn't expect.

"You know what, I didn't know I was capable of loving someone but then I met you. I always thought I would remain cold and bitter." She pursed her lips trying to look at me squarely in the eye. "But you, Niall Horan have changed my perspective about loving and being loved. With that, Thank you." She looked at me seriously and I grinned. It was the most decent conversation we had.

"Thank you? Is that all? Are you not even gonna beat my long long speech?" I joked and she laughed slapping my chest. I saw her eyes spark and her smile that made me fall for her.

"Well." She laugh while rolling her eyes. This is really her I'm talking to and it made me smile. And for this moment, I thought of only the two of us in this place. It was an amazing snatched moment.

"Close your eyes." I instructed her, and she followed.

"What if there's no problem in this world we're living at? What if there's no imperfections between the two of us? What if you're just a normal girl and I'm also just a normal man. What if there's no Harry Styles right now? What do you see?" I squeezed my hand into hers. Even tighter this time.

She squeezed mine too, indicating she is imagining what it's like to have no hinder between the two of us. Just me, her and this perfect world.

"But we don't live in a perfect world."

"What if we do?" I reply.

"I see the two of us showering each other with love, nothing but love controlling the two of us. In that perfect world, I see you and me. Nothing against us."

"Can you make the impossible a possible?"

She squinted. I could see tears forming at the side of her eyes. I squeezed her hand even tighter. She's quiet.

"I hope you stay that way, Ariana. You are one step closer on being a better person." I didn't waste any opportunity to hug her but she didn't hug me back.

Unfortunately, she pushed me.

"But that was only a what if. There's you and I in that perfect world but this world right now is imperfect and flawed. I can't just leave Harry!" She slightly shouted and I shrugged.

"I know but there isn't any other way?" I run my fingers through my blonde hair, frustration is all over my body.

"There is at first, I already gave you a hint but you were such a coward that time. Remember when you stayed at my house? But Harry did. Harry took the chance, he wasn't afraid to take a risk. You were afraid."

"I wasn't!" I shouted. "I was waiting for you. Waiting and waiting for your heart to soften and to learn how to love. You are the weak one! You kept on throwing yourself your own pity party when you know you shouldn't!" I took a deep breath and continued.

"You want the pain to stop? Well, newsflash, it won't because you kept on reminding yourself of the horrible things that happened to you in the past when you should throw them away. You're such a coward, a wimp."

I saw her lips trembling, eyes were watering. "Stop!" She pleaded. "Fucking stop! You have no right to belittle what I feel because you don't know what it's like to be treated like shit every single day. And to remind you this, Harry is the one for me. He made me disappear of those fucking feelings in a sec."

"I'm not belittling your emotions. I'm just saying you aren't the only one who is suffering. Pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice, Ari." I shouted at the top of my lungs.

Ariana's mouth parted. She seemed shocked at my yelling.

"N-no. Ariana, no. I-I didn't mean to-" was all I could say before she ran.

I scared her.

But I knew I was right. She's afraid to face the truth so she fed on those lies Harry was giving her.

And it makes me ache.

My poor heart.

I touched my face and felt something wet. I wiped it with fingers and chuckled. Sweet tears. Yes. Worst birthday ever.

A R I A N A

What if? It is such a dangerous question. Some people like to hurt themselves even more when they are already hurting, I am their saint. Maybe Niall was right, I am really a coward because I kept on lying to myself that I can run away from my past, no matter how horrid it is. I lie to myself every single day, I always expect that I will eventually forget the pain, I try so hard to kill it but I can't.

"I want this pain to stop!" I shouted. "I'm so fucking tired of being miserable! Why can't I be happy?" I sobbed even more, my knees went weak and I'm now sobbing at the bathroom floor.

"Fuck this life!" I choke, self-hate taking all over my body.

I removed my heels and threw it really hard, causing the mirror to shatter.

Just like the mirror, I am a broken soul. Shattered, in pieces and I guess, impossible to get fixed.

I feel like an utter shit as I face myself in the mirror. Messy hair, sore eyes, mascara all over the cheeks. God my head hurts in crying. Pain was all over me, actually I think should love it. Pain has been on my side ever since anyway.

"There's so many reasons why I shouldn't love you, but I kept on following the one reason that is left; I love you, as simple as that."

Those words kept on playing in my head while I tried to fix my face. It's haunting me, and I hate being haunted by simple words. I hate being weak.

"There you are." A sweet voice was heard and I turned around. It was Robin. She said she almost lost trying to find where the bathroom was. Thankfully, I managed to do my face and sweep the broken glass of the mirror. I just had a small cut on my thumb but it was nothing compared to what I'm feeling right now.

I held her arms and smiled at her while we walked back to the lads.