Loving, My Best Friend's Brother

Chapter 30: You Are My Anchor

Thank you for the amazing cover @llWolfiell, I absolutely love it.

I was wracking my brain thinking about the endless possibilities why Ryan might of left town. I wanted to know but a small part of me didn't, the part that was too scared of finding out the truth; a truth that might ruin us.

I looked at him, he was still staring at me with those chocolate brown eyes that had the ability to melt my heart away with just one look.

"Lets take a walk?" he asked, and slowly sat up placing his hands around my waist to keep me from falling back. I stood up and waited for him to join me. He stood besides me his hands in his pocket, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

I nodded.

He reached for my hand, rubbing my skin with his thumb. We walked by the shore in silence, peaceful silence.

"I don't know where to start," Ryan said rubbing the back of his neck nervously, "It's just hard for me to talk about this."

The anticipation was killing me but if he wasn't ready to tell me, I understood. "You don't have to," I said staring deeply into his eyes. I felt like I could get lost in their depths, they held so many secrets, and I wanted to know them all.

"I want to tell you," he said stepping in front of me, and stoping my movements. Ryan then cupped my cheeks, "I never been so serious in my life when I said I was in love with you Avaly, I meant it."

He wrapped his arms around me, and I melted into him.

The same familiar scent filled my nostrils.

"My mom had been lying to me my entire life," he began, "I left because I found out I was l adopted."

He shook his head, "I found a letter my dad wrote to me before he passed away it explained everything. I needed to get away and clear my head so I went back to California."

He looked down at his feet in disappointment, "I also wanted to find out about my real parents, so I went looking for them I really don't know why, but I did."

I wanted to say something, anything but my mind was blank, and my heart ached for him.

"I guess I should have known," he laughed painfully, "I don't look like any of them, and Elisabeth is only a couple of months younger than me. I never really payed attention I always thought my parents couldn't wait to have another baby after me, so they had Elisabeth."

"I was such a fool I went looking for people who abandoned me as a baby, what did I expect to find."

I had no idea how to make him feel better, so instead I tightened my hold around his waist, and rested my head against his chest.

"I wish I could turn back time, I would have never left without giving you an explanation."

I looked at Ryan, and found him staring back at me with sad eyes, and I felt like the worst human being in the world. All this time I thought he had left me for another girl turns out he was just a lost boy looking for answers.

"I'm so sorry Ryan," I couldn't hold back the tears that streamed down my face, the tears of pure guilt and shame. "All along I blamed you for leaving me, and you tried to tell me, but I was too stubborn to listen. I should have been there for you instead of being such a selfish person, and thinking the worst of you."

He pulled away his eyes were glinting with something I couldn't quite decipher, "Don't cry baby." His thumb came to wipe away the tears from my cheek, "Everyday I was thinking about you, and every night I spend without you I dreamed about holding you in my arms, and never letting you go."

My chest felt tight, "I'm such an idiot Ryan. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me the most. I'm sorry I was such a pain in the ass."

He brushed a strand of my hair and placed it behind my ear. "You're still a pain in the ass," he smiled, "but you're my pain in the ass Avaly Coleman."

I chuckled through my tears, "I'm glad you gave me a part of you."

"You don't have just a part of me Ava," his head dipped down and he pecked my lips, "from this day forward you have all of me."

I reached for his hand, intertwining my fingers with his. I brought it up to my mouth and placed a kiss on his palm, "I'm never going to know what you went through, but I always want to be the person to help you get through it."

His hand reached out to grab the back of my head, and he pulled me into a kiss. Before I could deepen the kiss, he broke apart from me panting for air, tears glistening his chocolate brown eyes.

"I feel like I've been immersed in water, and slowly been drowning. After the death of my father, after every set back, heartache, loss, but most of all after finding out my real family wasn't really mine to claim- I sank deeper into the dark water. But when I saw you so beautiful and full of life I realized maybe just maybe I had a chance to be happy."

His eyes were pleading with mine, "You Avaly you are my anchor, and I just pray you don't pull me under."

Oh, Ryan.

I let out a deep breath trying to get rid of the heaviness inside my chest. I've never seen Ryan so broken, so lost, and that just shattered my heart into a million pieces.

"I won't," I hugged him wrapping my arms around his neck. "I will keep you afloat and never let you go. Ryan you mean so much to me, and I feel something so strong for you, something that I can't even begin to comprehend. I just know hurting you is the last thing I would ever do."

A small smile flitted his lips, "In my life I wanted nothing but you."

I smiled back, "Good because you're stuck with me."

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Thank you for reading xoxo

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