Dreaming Alone

Wil

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I cleared my throat before looking at my left to find her sitting up and reaching for her shirt.

I intently looked at every inch of her skin and licked my lower lip before trapping it between my teeth. I didn't do that because I was attracted to her. I just imagined her to be someone else.

She suddenly turned her head to face me.

"You're up early" she remarked with a smirk.

"I have to pack my things" I said as I sat up.

She smiled before fishing a hair tie and trapped her blonde hair with it. I looked into those green eyes of hers and thought of another set of eyes that these ones are no match for.

"I don't understand why you didn't tell them that you're back."

I watched her as she got dressed before thinking about what she said.

I got onto a late flight last night and I wanted to surprise her but I was the one who was surprised. I stood there at the driveway, laughing at myself because of how stupid I was to let him get close to her again.

I clearly saw everything. The way she closed her eyes when he leaned in to kiss her cheeks, how she softly touched his hands with hers before she welcomed his kiss. I saw the way they pulled each other in their arms and how she held on to him like he was her lifeline.

It hurt like hell but I can never blame her—I don't plan too. No matter how many times she'd say that she's moved on, I know that deep down inside, she's still in love with him. I knew it would be a long shot if she ever falls for me, so I'm the one to blame for rushing things with her.

I just wanted her to feel loved. I saw how devastated she was when he left her. I saw how her world crumbled and how shattered her heart was. I just wanted to be the one to put them back to pieces until he comes back to mold them together once more.

I can no longer deny the fact that I knew that he'll come back. He called me a million times a few days after he left, asking me to be there for her until he comes back. To assure her that he'll come back for her—only I didn't. I wanted her for myself. I didn't want him to return.

I just got lucky that he didn't tell her about it. I got terribly lucky that I had a shot with her.

I hated him for stealing her away from me knowing that I had feelings for her. But I hated myself more for letting him have her, only to hurt her.

"I gotta go" her overly sweet voice that matches her perfume called my attention and I looked at her.

My girl doesn't like perfumes like that. She likes the powdery scented ones. She doesn't even wear perfume all the time.

My girl—she is mine, after all.

"Yeah, take care" I gave her a short nod and she smirked.

She was about to open the door to my hotel room when I decided to ask call her attention.

"Kate" I called out her name and she turned.
"Did she look happy with him?" I asked and she sighed.

"Yeah" she nodded.

"And Luke?" I added to the question.

"He looks satisfied" she answered as she looked at the doorknob. "I think our job is done, Wil. They found each other again. Well, maybe my job is, I don't know about you. Knowing Alexandra, I'm sure she's dying of guilt right now. It's up to you if you'll keep holding onto her and prolong her torture."

I looked into her eyes and she shrugged.

"Do you have any more questions?" she asked and I shook my head. "Good. I have to get ready for tonight's flight. Don't tell me how it all goes; I'm sure I'll hear all about it from someone. Last night was nice."

She left and closed the door behind her as soon as she ended her sentence.

My phone suddenly rang and I turned to see her photo flashing on my screen. It's the one I secretly took a few months back when we were watching at her place. I don't remember what Faith exactly said that made her laugh that way and I just had to capture the moment.

I decided to send her straight to voicemail before turning my phone off.

I'll talk to her when I get there—I thought.

I know I'll have to let her go sooner or later. I just don't know if I can.

I just want to protect her from him. I want to continue on holding on to her, to continue guiding her until I know that she can go on without hurting herself.

I know him. I know Luke. He makes her reckless. He has that effect on her. He was once my best friend too until he had to break her heart because he was scared. He was scared to take the risk with her when she was ready to give him everything she's got. I knew the day he got curious about Alex, I had to keep watch. I had to make sure she had someone ready to catch her in case she free falls and Luke's not there to break the fall.

I was more than ready to hurt myself just to catch her—even if it wasn't me who she's falling for.

My mind wandered back to the images from last night and I sighed.

I won't tell her—I decided. I won't tell her that I saw them last night. I won't let her choose me over him because of the guilt that I might ignite within her. She's still confused after all. I just have to be there until she's got everything figured out.

I'll just have to pour myself out and help her weigh her choices.

I'll just have to brace myself for the impact.

But I won't back down from the challenge.

I won't let him grab her away from me like before.

Not until she tells me that she loves him. Not until I know that she no longer needs me to be her sun in the storm.