Love For an Assassin [Kili Fanfic]

Chapter Fifteen

Bilbo sat down on the edge of the bed and placed his hands in his lap.

"Can I ask you question?" I asked suddenly, even surprising myself. Bilbo looked up at me curiously.

He smiled. "Sure. What's on your mind?" he watched me intently, waiting for me to speak.

"How did you end up with a bunch of dwarves? I mean, it's kinda obvious you are not like them." It felt good to keep talking. Somehow, it distracted me from the pain of my stomach and back.

He chuckled, and the sound was quite pleasant. But it wasn't as nice as Kili's laugh. That laugh could brighten any day, I was sure of that. I was vaguely aware of myself smiling as my mind drifted to Kili. Even though he could never be mine, I couldn't help but think of him. His smile. His laugh. And his...well everything. I literally loved every part of him. Yes, I didn't know everything about him, but somehow, someway, I had fallen in love with him. He had captured my heart and it was stuck there.

"Ithildae?" Bilbo broke through my thoughts cautiously. I realized he had been talking to me. Oops.

"Yes, Bilbo?" I focused my attention back on him, trying to push away the thoughts of Kili.

"Did you hear my question?"

I felt my cheeks heat up. "Ah well, no. I'm sorry, I got lost in thought," I apologized.

"That's quite alright. I'm sure you have a lot on your mind."

"Yah..."

"Do you want to talk about anything?" Bilbo offered. I smiled, considering his offer.

"Actually, yes. If you wouldn't mind," I answered. I didn't really know BIlbo all that well, but for some reason I felt at ease with him around and I felt that I could trust him. "I have a problem..." I looked down at my hands and fiddled with them.

"Go on..." he encouraged.

"There's someone I like..." I started, looking back up at him. He nodded. "And, well, he likes someone else. What should I do?" I was quite curious to know how Bilbo would answer.

"Well, Ithildae, I think you should tell him how you feel. Even if he rejects you--which I'm sure he won't-- it would be better than if you never told him. Besides, I think Kili likes you more than you realize."

Wait...

"Uh...um. I-I..." I stumbled over my words, nervous and confused. How did he know? I didn't tell him...at least I don't remember telling him.

Bilbo chuckled and patted my nervous hand. "Oh, Miss, don't worry. I won't tell anyone."

"B-But how?" I asked, still confused.

"It is quite obvious."

I gave him a look.

"The way you look at him," he elaborated. "It is written all over your face." Bilbo scooted further onto the bed and resituated, still watching my face.

"I don't understand..." Was I really that obvious? I thought I had kept it inside for the most part. Well so much for that idea...

"Don't worry, Miss Ithildae. Like I said, I won't tell anyone. I don't think anyone has noticed yet. Your secret is safe with me," he said kindly and his words helped to put me at ease. I relaxed slightly and nodded.

"Thank you, Bilbo," I told him honestly. It somehow felt better knowing that I wasn't alone in this mess now. Bilbo was a good listener and he certainly had lots of wisdom stored up in that head of his. Hobbits really are amazing creatures.

"So are you going to tell him?"

My cheeks heated up and could tell they were bright red. Bilbo's eyes twinkled and it caused me to blush further, if even possible. "I wasn't planning on it..."

"But why not?"

"Because he doesn't love me," I mumbled, suddenly back in my depressed mood as I thought of Kili.

"Are you sure?" Bilbo pressed further. It felt like he was probing his finger into my wounds on my stomach. Ouch.

"Yes, Bilbo. I'm sure," I told him, my voice a bit sour. I was trying not to be grumpy or lash out at him, but if he didn't drop it, I would.

"But how do you know?"

"Because I heard him say he loved Tauriel! That's why!" I snapped. I couldn't help it. It burned so badly. I didn't want to think about Kili. It caused me too much pain every stinking time I thought of him.

Bilbo frowned and looked away. Great. Look what you did now, Ithildae.

I tentatively reached out and placed my hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you," I apologized.

He looked back at me, his eyes full of understanding. They weren't angry in the slightest. "No, it is I who should be sorry. I shouldn't have pressed you."

I shook my head. "Let's just agree to disagree," I said, feeling a smile blossom on my lips. Bilbo quickly followed with a smile of his own. "But can I ask one more thing of you?"

Bilbo tilted his head slightly. "Sure..."

"Can I get a...hug?" I asked quietly, slightly embarrassed.

Bilbo looked quite surprised, his mouth hanging partially open. "Oh, o-of course."

I don't hesitate to throw my arms around him and bury my face in the crook of his shoulder. He freezes for a moment before putting his own arms around me. I felt him gently rub my hair, being careful to avoid my damaged back.

"Thank you, Bilbo," I mumbled into his shoulder. I felt tears slipping out and I didn't restrain them this time. Freely, they traveled down my cheeks and onto Bilbo's tan shirt. It smelled unique, like smoke and earth...and, maybe some tobacco? Anyways, the smell was comforting as Bilbo held me tightly. He was quiet as I let it out. Before long, I was sobbing. Why does life have to be so hard and complicated?

Hey guys! If you are reading this, then I owe you a thank you and an apology. First, thank you for sticking with me! You are amazing! Second, I am super sorry for the long wait for this update. I am so lazy and I have nothing to say for myself.

But anyways, if you enjoyed this sorta filler chapter, then vote, comment, or follow! I love you all! Don't forget that:)

Ithildae