My Cocky But Sexy Idiot Of A Professor

Chapter 37:"You Dont Even Need a Gun,You Dont Even Need A Pill..."

There was a golden band around it,on his ring finger.Gleaming in the sunlight.

"No"My voice croaked out and instead of moving forward like I was,I took steps back.

At my comment Ethan had looked up at me,but I had already figured it out before he had the chance to tell me. He knew that.

"B-b-blair...I'm so sorry"His voice came out just above a mere whisper and my heart was beating faster, but it wasn't in a good way,I had never experienced this before.

Kristen and Ethan are engaged.

"You- you haven't been pretending.......what the fuck is happening?"

"I'm sorry..."Was His reply. I'm sorry.

"No, don't worry about it because I did something worse"There was a short pause where he just stared into my eyes,showing nothing. "I put my heart in your hands".

I turned around and walked away,back inside then out of the front door.

As I shut it, I exhaled a shaky breath.The world not making any sense to me and questions clawing at my brain. But the main one:Why?

You know..I try so hard..to stay happy,stay strong and keep smiling..but when a sword has been pierced through me constantly, I hurt. I try not to show it- you may never think I have in my entire life. But I fall. It's a funny thing,happiness.When you finally find it something creeps up on you and screams "Ha!I got you!"

Don't ever think that I have never cried in my room,about myself, about others about everything that happens. I realise, I do; that sometimes it's the stupidest reason ever but I get through it.Put on a smile and vow to never do that to myself again... Happiness was my choice and I will find it inside me again.

Ethan has bruised me many times..first they were unintentional,deliberate to push me away but why now?

I hadn't realised that a hand was placed on my shoulder and part of me prayed it was Ethan, but the rest wanted to slap him around the face.

I wanted him to hold me but I wanted to punch him away, I wanted him to tell me everything but I didn't  want to listen, I want him to kiss me but I want him to never have that chance to be so close again.

"Honey.."Ms Baker called out,her tone worn out as if she had said that 10 times already. Whoops.

"Sorry,yes"I quickly wiped the back of my hand over my eyes to clear away the tears that had been set free and turned around, smiling.

"I'm sorry" She whispered apologetically.

"I've been getting that a lot lately" I fake laughed.

I don't know why I'm doing this to myself..

"Are you okay?"She asked concerned and sympathetically.

"Actually.. No no I'm not and that's okay isn't it? It's okay to not be okay right? I don't know what's happening to me.."I croaked out even more, my emotions spilling out without warning.

"Oh honey!"She cried out as she pulled me into a motherly hug. I cried into her like a baby but she didn't pull away,she pulled me further into her embrace.

We stayed like that for a few seconds and it felt like I had hugged my actual mother. I missed her so much.. It made me feel so much better.

I pulled away eventually. "I have to go I'm sorry.." I spoke as she wiped away my tears and I wiped some of hers that had occurred due to me being hysterical and crying.

"My son is the biggest idiot in the world..."She whispered and I just half smiled as a response.

"But honey please don't go..without you Ethan and I have nothing"She spoke.

"I'm sure Mr Baker will be fine..this house is full of people"

"When you go..it's like the happiness gets sucked out of the house like a vacuum.. Like last time, when you went for a couple of days-"She started seriously.

Oh yes,how can I forget?The time Kristen and Ethan snogged each other's faces off.

But Kristen meant it.

"Ethan was silent.He was distressed,uneasy,terribly worried...you brought back the smile in him after all these years; he was stripped from it when you were gone. He loves you"She finished and my head was starting to spin.

"He's marrying her"I replied shortly.

I think that proves that he doesn't love me.

There was a short pause, where Ms Baker stumbled on what words to say.

"Please excuse me.."I muttered under my breath and walked away from that house.

I'm sorry.

-----------------1250 words---------------

Hello beautiful people!How are you?Good I hope! I'm sorry I haven't updated in like three weeks!I normally update in one or two but lately I've been so busy!Im sorry again but I hope I made up for it!😘

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