Urrg! Now I'm so mad at my own mother!!! She says we'll talk about everything and yet she doesn't call me or even text. I was just on her facebook and my heckles rose up seeing a comment she made to a friend. She told her friend that she might take her up on her offer if (and I quote) "my daughter doesn't want me in her basement." How the hell can a mother who proclaims that she loves her daughter say something like that. I love my mother to bits, but she has no idea how words effect others or how much I hurt seeing those words. That isn't fair to make me the bad guy in this without talking to me. She has no idea what my life is like or how much torture being around her is for me. She just doesn't get it at all.
Right now, if I saw her, I'd slap her. She doesn't know me though she proclaims she does. She hasn't been there in my life. Not the way other mothers have been. Yes, she took the job to provide a roof over my head and food in my belly, but emotionally that just isn't enough. She could have called at least once a week and talked with me about nothing. But she didn't. She rarely called because she was living her life children free.
Growing up, I had just wanted my mom to understand me. I still do. But this hurts too much for me to even say.
I bet she knew exactly how I would feel if i read that. She most likely thought that I would tell her yes because I wanted her to feel better. To not think bad about myself for saying no. But I won't. I'm making my stand here and now.
If she will post something like that without thinking about the emotional effect on me, then she doesn't deserve any help from me. I've just about had enough of her sick twisted games of this cat and mouse bit we do. The dance is over. The music having died long ago. My heels have been broken for ages now. I'm done.
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Sorry for the rant, but this is my blog. If you're reading this, than you were wanting to know how I was doing. What I was feeling. About the true be beyond my stories.
