The Avestan Viewer -- A Wolf Love Story

Chapter 34 - Zeke's Execution

I thought about everything that had happened with Zeke, those events seemed so remote somehow, but it was only two days ago. I thought about how the madman forced me to explore this side of myself that would have otherwise remained hidden. I had thought about all of this many times before and I was tired of it, I just wanted my ordinary life back. I wanted to be able to drive where I wanted, to do what I wanted- I missed my freedom that he had stolen from me.

Well now he was dead and I was... what? I still wasn't free, we didn't yet know the scope of his organization or what they were planning. I sighed since I didn't have any answers.

I looked to my right as I heard a deer moving in the darkness, I heard the other critters scurrying around, I heard the almost silent flapping of an owl as it scooped up a distressed rat. This was the life of the wild, this was the balance of the forest. I sat and looked at the moon, which was just over half phased.

"Why, Luna?" I asked the moon. I poured all my anguish in that question knowing there were no answers for me. I held out my hand and created a single flame and held it high. Matt looked over at me as I looked up at the moon. I never did understand why I was chosen, of all she-wolves why was I chosen? I felt so alone, there was no one who I could really talk to about my loneliness.

It was crazy to feel lonely, I had my soul mate who has given me everything. His heart, his name, his son, his pack- everything. And I loved him and smiled. I closed my fist and lay back on the soft grass and rubbed Matt's back. I had hoped that Gavon would be able to make the flame, but he hasn't been able to. I could transfer the flame but that was all. Mave was unable to create the flame either, it was just me.

I sighed and put my hands behind my head.

"Luna, I don't understand," I kept talking to the moon. "I have never understood my life. And I feel... it... Luna, I know something's coming. I know it. I wish I understood the Machine, I wish I understood the Azhar Pact, I wish I understood the ancient writings- I just wish I understood."

And I knew what I had to tell the Goddess.

"And I don't understand... death." I kept looking at the moon, not expecting any answers or clarity.

"I don't understand this force, Luna, I don't understand the evil that only lives for pain, for the play of torture. I don't understand the blackness that invites such suffering, that is void of any feeling except a selfish malice."

I thought for a moment then whispered, "I could use some help now, a vision would be nice. Or a letter in the mailbox telling me what's going on." Matt decided to crawl up on my stomach and I reached around to keep him safe, smiling at his babbling. I loved this pup so much, our bond was as strong as any mother's. I smiled at him as he squirmed around, it seemed he was never still.

A voice behind me startled me, "You look so beautiful in the moonlight."

I relaxed and smiled at my Mate's voice. Matt looked at his father and held out his arms, and Stephen walked to us slowly and picked up his pup. They both smiled at each other and Stephen sat beside me and absently bounced Matt up and down in a playful way. I leaned back and put my hands back behind my head.

"I didn't smell you," I mentioned to Stephen.

"I was down wind," he replied and shrugged his shoulder. I realized I should have been more alert.

"I feel your discomfort Danika," Stephen said and looked at me.

"I'm fine," I replied still looking at the moon.

"I know what you're feeling, Mate," Stephen said back to me after a moment. "I feel your confusion which almost borders on pain. I know you've felt like this for a while now, and I wish you would have talked to me."