you & i

fifteen » union

dear infinity,

i think i may still be drunk. the party was horrible and everyone was disgusting, but you made it better just by being there, even though you were drunk like the rest of them. then again, so was i.

but everything was completely disgusting. the night had barely begun when people began throwing up on the furniture, the bushes, each other. many of the "dancers" left much to be desired. i managed to locate your brother and handed him my gift (i'd heard him talking about how much he wanted a video game that had just been released). i searched for you fruitlessly, and i'd had enough of the rib-collapsing music after a good half hour of looking for you, so i pushed my way to the backyard.

i don't know how long i sat outside before you somehow stumbled across me. literally, you tripped over your own feet and fell into my lap, your beer spilling all over me. you giggled and apologized, tugging me inside to refill your beer and to borrow some of your brother's clothes for me. i still need to return them, by the way. though i guess that won't be hard because i'm still in your house.

you handed me a red plastic cup as well, telling me that it was the only way i'd even remotely enjoy the party. i rolled my eyes and asked you why people even tried to enjoy those horrid things, and you looked me in the eye as you held that bottle of vodka and said they were a good way to just forget everything.

and i knew you weren't having fun.

so after you grabbed me a shirt and shorts from your brother's closet, i promptly dragged you to your room, surprising the couple on your bed. you screamed at them to get out, and i laughed at the disgust written all over your face. you looked so cute that i just had to kiss you right then and there.

suddenly i realized you had pushed me onto your bed and had closed and locked your door hastily. honestly, i was a bit frightened as you approached me, but then you sat down on the bed beside me, finishing your beer in one gulp and opening up the bottle of vodka.

sometime after we'd finished up the vodka, i was seeing the moon in your eyes and the stars on your skin. you drew closer to me and we collided in a way that a meteorite could never imagine. your kisses were long and slow, and suddenly they just weren't enough, and i couldn't get enough of you like i can't get enough of the universe.

perhaps you aren't just my sun, my moon, and my stars; perhaps you are my whole universe. maybe my universe wouldn't be bleak without you; no, it wouldn't exist. without an infinity by my side, i'd be limited to a finite realm of finite possibilities.

but now they're endless, just like your love. i know you must love me, somewhere deep down, because i heard it in the way my name left your lips and the way your fingers flitted over my skin and the way your lips desperately sought mine. and like matter loses itself in a black hole, i lost myself in you that night.

love,
beyond

~*~*~*~*~*~

{ r e m a r k s }

I know it's super awkward to leave an author's note when the chapters are super personal letters, but I'd just like to mark the end of step i. I'm so proud of myself for finishing this up (because the sappiness was actually pretty painful) and will post the epigraph for step ii once I write at least five chapters of it.

I hope you're enjoying the story so far because everything will fall apart in the next half. I mean, not much has happened so far, so there really hasn't been much of a reason for this part being so long, except for maybe slow, slow character building. I'm actually considering cutting down quite a few of these chapters if I ever decide to edit this story. Anyway, thanks for reading this far, and I hope you continue to enjoy the story!