jack's pov
i couldn't believe what i was hearing, did mark really just question how i felt about him? i looked at him confused and shocked, i looked down for a moment figuring out what to say.
"are you serious? of course i mean it!" mark frowned looking down.
"no...you don't..." i was still shocked.
"huh?" i asked.
"i saw felix kiss you..." he said, that hit me hard, guilt struck me, i knew there was a presence i felt by me and felix but i didn't know that presence was my boyfriend, what am i going to do now? i didn't wanna lose him like this, not now, not ever!
"i know he still feels the way he did in the past..." mark exclaimed.
my eyes widened and i sighed heavily, was this really happening? "yeah, but...i don't! didn't i say i loved you and only you just a couple weeks ago?" i said and mark just shook his head.
"i'm starting to think that was a lie." he told me.
"there's nothing going on between me and felix! i promise!" i begged, he wore that broken frown on his face.
"i don't...i just don't think i can trust you, i see the way he looks at you and i see the way you look at him ... and... i see the way you look at me.. it's not the same." i took his hand and looked into his brown eyes pleading, "i don't-..." he cut me off by putting a finger to my lips, pulling his hand away.
"you have feelings for him whether you believe it or not!" he said, i sighed emitting defeat, "okay, maybe...but-!" mark looked down causing me to shut my mouth before finishing the sentence, he looked so hurt.
i didn't like that.
"i just...i can't get hurt again..." i looked at him tears filling my eyes, "don't fucking cry ya moron!" i screamed to myself, "not in front of him!" my mind screamed loudly, "wh-what are you saying...?" i mumbled.
"i think we should go are separate ways.."
he put a hand on my cheek.
i was about to cry.
i could feel it.
"o-okay..." my voice cracked, and you could hear the hints of sadness.
mark looked really hurt now.
"and to prevent myself from getting hurt, i-i...want you to s-stay out of my l-life..."
i choked back tears.
it was over.
mark didn't wanna see me.
how could i be so stupid?
my light went out.
and i was surrounded in black.
"i-i understand... i'll move out tomorrow..." i told him as i got up biting my lip.
don't fucking cry...
don't fucking cry...
i told myself repeatedly, if i learned one thing about depression, i learned to cry was a sign of weakness, and i didn't want that weakness to show no matter how much i hurt, i walked away mumbling a soulful response.
"bye mark."
i left the cafeteria, sniffling but holding in the tears, "don't you even dare! your so weak!" i told myself, i repeated that in my head as walked into the restroom, i looked into the mirror next to the stalls, i put my bag to the ground and unzipped it pulling out my knife.
