jacks pov
i lay in mark's bed alone, thinking of all possibilities of me and mark becoming a thing...
zero chance...
that's all i had, aaron had already gotten him wrapped around his finger, and someone as perfect as him wouldn't date a broken up weirdo like me, i was a freak.
who caused pain to himself, overdosing, getting drunk, cutting, suicide attempts... the day before i met mark was the day i was about to end it all...oh i didn't tell you about this? well...im about too.
fear...
pain...
deep breaths...
i felt like i was losing control...
it was all just a blur...
but i can remember it...
okay so it started like this...
i put the knife up to my neck getting ready to slit it, things were getting worse for me i wasn't as strong as i was to handle being hated by everyone anymore, my strength weakened, and my shell cracked.
bloody cuts marked every part of me, this day i think was the most painful and bloody, there were signs of my depression in my room, every time i felt like nothing id hide my razor sharp knife in my bag in my closet, dried blood cover the walls and sometimes the carpet, and cloths were soaked in blood that i used to stop the bleeding, those were stuffed in my closet as well.
four little words could break me...
no...one...loves...you...
i didn't do it, cause of a glint of light in my eyes, now it sounds stupid but that was the first light i've seen, it was a white flash, it was like hope something i didn't believe in at the time, i dropped the knife to the ground and fell to my knees blacking out after taking about the rest of tylenol in the bottle, i woke up the next morning cleaned up and went to school, then i met mark.
that's when something good started happening in my life.
like i said my story isn't all sappy and sweet, its absolutely terrifying to live my life, to feel like everything is about to take you out, to see nothing but blackness, its like a dream you can never wake up from, and my feelings for mark those make my body go numb and make me want to barf or pass out from dizziness.
ive been through everything!
you name it...
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marks pov
i laid my head on the window staring out into the city, yami's window had a great view of los angeles, i just couldn't stop thinking about jack...he hated it, he hated me and yami together and to be completely honest i liked it better when we were friends.
"are you okay?" yami asks i look at him from the corner of my eye but i don't turn.
"im just thinking..." i look away giving all attention to the outside world.
"babe, is there something wrong? you can tell me." he moves closer to me, "this isn't working out.." i sigh as i look over at him, "what do you mean, mark?" he asks rubbing my back slowly, "i mean us." i look him in the eyes.
"look im really not ready to be in a relationship and it seems jack doesn't like it either." i say.
"so? he can get over it!" he growls and grits his teeth.
"either way, this won't help anything, i got out of a recent break up and i thought moving would help i don't think it was a good choice." yami nods, understanding.
"so, im breaking up with you." that stung both of us.
"apparently... you want a ride home?" he asks but i can tell deep down he's hurt.
"im good," i unlatch the lock to his window and climb out falling to the ground landing on my knees, as i slumped putting my hands in my pockets walking away farther from his house.
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jacks pov
i hear a slam of the front door and i get up to see mark looking startled by his little accident, he looked at me and smiled a little, i felt my heart warm a little, "uh...hey you okay there buddy?" i laugh as i grab his wrist and pull him onto the couch with me, "yeah..haha!" i smile at him when he says it.
"except i broke up with yami..." he says a little sad.
i feel like im about to explode with happiness, "dude why?" i ask taking his hand, what am i doing? he looks up at me with a little pink tinted on his face, i blush as well...deeper though.
"cause of you." he sighs.
my eyes widened, and i feel bad for what time i had complained about now.
"what?!" i ask.
"i know you told me not to but i could tell if i stayed with him any longer you wouldn't be happy, and i want you to be happy." i blush and i let go of his hand realizing how long ive held it.
"thanks buddy." i hug him and he hugs me back.
- the next day
me and mark were in english class and i couldn't stop staring at him, he looked really cute. my heart felt waited as i looked around and then it happened suddenly when felix walked in and kissed yami on the lips, it didn't hurt like it would in the past...
i have a confession to make, back when me and felix were best friends i had a crush on him, but i never loved him, and he never made my body go numb and make my heart beat out of my chest like mark did.
i looked over at mark, he didn't look jealous... he looked hurt...i rubbed his back, and he shrugged me off, "mark-" i go to say when he cuts me off, "im fine." i nod my head as i take his hand under the table and i see yami glare at me, i know he likes mark and is just trying to make us jealous.
news flash...
i hate felix!
mark looks up and smiles as i hear the bell go off we got our stuff and walked out.
