I love you, whiskers and all. (AmazingPhil love story)

Nightmares

-Nicole's P.O.V-

I slowly opened my eyes to the darkness of the room. I turned to my side and looked at the alarm clock placed on the bedside table. The clock read “3:33am.” I sat up and stretched my arms towards the ceiling and then looked over at the window. I got up slowly and walked up to the window and looked out. The street was very empty now, but lit up with street lights. I heard talking outside my door, it sounded like Dan and Phil. “Why are they up?” I walked over to my door and pressed my ear against the wood to try and hear what they were saying but all I could hear was muffled voices, they must of moved into the lounge.

I quietly opened my door and slipped out into the hallway. I tip toed down the hallway along side the wall as quietly as I could and stopped just before the lounge and listened to them speak. “How could she do this to us?” I heard Phil say. “Who are they talking about?”

“Ugh, that dirty selfish whore. Did she think she could hide this from us?” said Dan. I was so confused and wracking my brain with who they could possibly be talking about at 3 in the morning. “Nicole, we know you're there. Come out.” I froze. “Will they be mad I eavesdropped? Oh no.” I took a deep breathe and stepped out into the lounge.

“Sorry guys...I heard you talking....and I was just-” I stopped when I noticed what Phil was holding. Phil was holding my blades. Every single one of my blades was in his hand. I felt my heart speed drop and tears rushed to my eyes. “W-why do you have those-” I was cut off by Phil.

“We found out your secret, Nicole. Did you think you could hide it from us? You disgust me.”

“W-what...I...I'm so-” I was cut off again, this time by Dan.

“We hate people who cut, get the fuck out of our flat!” Phil threw the razors at me and one cut my shoulder as it flew past. I started crying and Dan grabbed me and threw me to the ground. Phil then grabbed a razor and pinned me too the ground and pulled up my sleeves.

“NO! Phil! Please stop!” I cried. Phil laughed and smirked at me.

“I never liked you, I brought you here just to expose your lies and show everyone who you truly are.” Phil then started to cut my wrists with a razor as I screamed in pain and cried. “I hate you.”

I let out a loud gasp as my eyes flew open. I was sent straight into a panic attack and I hyperventilated and held back the tears that threatened to spill. It took me a moment and realize it was just a dream and I tried the best I could to slow my breathing. I sat up and shakily pulled up my sleeves and checked to make sure there wasn't any new cuts. When I found there was none, I pulled my sleeves back down and looked at the alarm clock. It read “4:16 am.” My mind flashed back to the nightmare I just had and I let out a small cry as the tears began to flow down my cheeks.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and cried into my knees. The pain I felt in my chest was unbearable and I tried everything I could to block out the images of the nightmare but they kept nagging me. Their words kept echoing in my head. “That dirty selfish whore.....you disgust me.....we hate people who cut......I hate you.” The overwhelming urge to cut had grown and I dug my nails into my skin to try and subside it but it wouldn't go away. Finally, I gave in and stumbled off the bed and over to the drawer where I hide my razors.

I dug threw all the clothes to the bottom where the razors were hidden and pulled one out. I put it to my wrist and trembled as I fought back the urge to make the cut. Thoughts raced threw my head “What if they really find out?” “Will the kick me out?” “Will they think I'm disgusting if I do this?” I pressed down the razor and was about to drag it across my skin when I heard a knock at the door followed by a familiar voice.