I love you, whiskers and all. (AmazingPhil love story)

I am Nicole Lynn

Hi guys! Amaryl here! This is my first fanfiction so sorry if there is any mistakes I'm terribly sorry! I really hope you like it! =3

Ps. If the font is like this then that means someones thinking inside their head.

and if the fonts like this then it's something said online not in person!

Yep, thats it. Read on! :D

~o3o~~~~

-Nicoles P.O.V-

I gasp and sit up swiftly automatically putting my face in my hands. Another nightly nightmare has awoken me from my sleep again, it's nothing new. I've been having nightmares for as long as I can remember and there’s nothing I can do to stop them. Therapists have tried, doctors have tried, I've tried, they just return every night. The more stressed I am the more brutal they are. I sigh and take my face out my hands and look over at my alarm clock. 4:37am, early as always. I shakily get up and turn on the lights in my medium size flat. After that nightmare, there’s not point trying to go back to sleep tonight.

I stretch out my arms and decide to take a shower to calm down. I walk over my closet and take out a plain T-shirt and some comfy sweat pants then head into the bathroom. As I take my shower, I think back on the dream I had. It was one my regular dreams, filled with replays of memories of my past life. I can see my parents screaming at each other about every little then and then it switches over to them storming into my room and brutally beating me until I pass out. I can see my older sister packing her things and telling me that she's leaving, the family was to much for her to take. After she left, my parents got even more abusive until I finally ran away to live with my grandmother. I can see my grandmother dying in the hospital and me be taken away by my father who then continues to beat me again for a few years. My mother had finally left him for another man but the beating wasn't any less painful. I can see my dad being arrested and hear him scream insults at me until he a police man pushed him into the vehicle. “You worthless brat!” “I hope you die!” “You disgust me, I'm glad I don't have to see you anymore!” All very hurtful to me. My dream usually continues on from there, but surprisingly I woke up before the bitter memories could continue.

I sigh and turn off the shower and wrap a towel around me. I walk over to the mirror and look at my reflection. I'm nothing special, my dad was right. My hair is just plain brown and is always frizzy, my blue eyes seemed dull compared to the many blue eyes I've seen on other girls. I'm not very skinny I'm an average weight, I suppose. I've never been secure with myself and I don't expect that to ever change. After getting dressed I wrap my hair in a towel and step out of the bathroom. I scan my flat and spot my laptop on my desk. A small smile creeps onto my lips and I walk over sitting down at my desk. I open up my laptop and turn it on.

Despite my bad past I have one good thing going for me right now. I'm actually a pretty popular youtuber called “Rainydayx.” I made my youtube when I was 18 and finally living alone in America. And to make it even more exciting I got accepted into a Japanese boarding school and I've been here for about a year now. It's amazing here and everything I thought it would be. I've always been into Japanese culture and anime as a kid it and it was my dream to go to collage in Japan, I was so lucky that I got accepted! On my youtube channel I do funny skits, talk about things, Japanese lessons, and sometimes I even sing. I'm always alone though, I've never done a collab with anyone or with any friends. I don't have any friends and I'm too far away to do collabs with anyone.

I'm actually a very shy person in person and I have very bad anxiety because of what happened to me what I was younger. I'm also very depressed, and I cut. This is something that none of my “Minions”(This is why my subs call themselves) know about. In all my videos I'm a very bubbly and happy person. I'm always joking and I've never made a single video talking about my past, it's just too painful. If anyone ever asks me about my past I ignore the question which annoys a lot of people. I still have plenty of subscribers though. I still cut regularly and I always make sure to edit out any possible cuts that show during my videos.

Now, why would I still cut? You see, Japan is great but the school isn't the best. As I said, I'm a very shy person and people in the boarding school I was accepted to are very competitive. When I first arrived to my school I had to take a test along with all the other Japanese students. I speak very flaunt Japanese so it was a breeze for me. I ended up scoring high in the top ten and I was very happy I was doing so well already. Then everything went wrong, the top students didn't like the idea of an American student beating them in test scores and they weren’t going to stand for it. They started bulling me, badly. It was first just little insults that I brushed off but it then they started physically hurting me and taking my stuff. I was oblivious to why they were doing this at first but I eventually figured it out. A group of 5 students cornered me one day and threatened that if I didn't lower my grades that they'd get me kicked out of the school.

I laughed at this at first and didn't change and thing but that was a bad decision. One day while I was walking home they dragged me into an alley and beat me up until I swore I would lower my grades. After that I did lower my grades so now I average a C, it's high enough to pass but too low to be in the top. They never stopped bulling me though and to this day they bully me. I never let that phase me though. No matter how depressed I get I continue to make youtube videos and gain more and more subscribers. It always makes me happy to know that I'm making some one out there happy. I refuse to bother my subscribers with my stupid problems and sadness.

I type in my password and immediately go to youtube. I'm happy to see that the video I posted last week is getting a lot of views and good comments. A thing I like to do whenever I have a nightmare is scroll down the comments and sometimes replay to them. I click on my video and scroll down the comments. “Haha, so funny! You always make me laugh! :)” “I wish I was as pretty as you, you NEED to do a hair tutorial!!” “Will you make another singing video soon, you're really good :D” I smile at good comments, my subscribers always cheer me up. Theres always the trolls though. “Ew, gay.” “Why are you still on youtube! You're not funny at all!” I sigh and shake my head at these comments. They don't hurt me as much as the bulling does. I click back and look at my subscriptions. I gasp to see that Amazingphil and made a new video. I quickly click on it and read the title, “The Break up.” I sit back and prepare for the cuteness overload. Within the first few minutes I'm bursting with laughter. I just love Phil so much, he is my youtube Idol. I would give anything to meet him.

“I think I'd be worth more than two days”, Phil cries. I gasp and say out load, “Of course you are Phil! I'd give you forever if I was your girlfriend!” The video comes to an end and wipe the laughter brought tears out of my eyes. After watching some Tobuscus and Pewdiepie I shut my laptop. Watching his videos made me completely forget my dream and bring me back to my happy self again. I lay down on my bed and stare at the ceiling thinking of Phil. I may sound like a massive fangirl, but I just love him so much. His innocence, his funny personalty, and everything about him's so adorable. He's even funnier when he's with his best friend Dan who is also one of my favorite youtubers. How great it would be to make a youtube collab with him and Dan, it would just make my life 100 times better. I slowly drift off into sleep, with that thought of meeting Phil lingering in my brain.