Pain

Why

        "And again, the world doesn't revolve around you. So if you have something to ask actually ASK IT," he practically snarls the words and I can't help but gasp a little. I never knew he could be like this, but then again I never really knew him. Maybe I was just some cruel joke.

        I scoff in his face, and take a step closer to him. I see a sort of wall come down on his features, and I know it's going to be a lot harder to get any kind of response out of him. "Don't act like your a dumb ass now. You know what I'm talking about. I want to know WHY," I scream the word and i see that wall start to crumble under my outraged gaze but I don't stop, "I want to know why you won't leave me the heck alone. I want to know why you keep popping up. I want to know why you never say anything about when you and your friends found me. I want to know why I've turned into your obsession. I want to know why you're always there, and I WANT TO KNOW WHY IN THE HECK YOU WON'T LEAVE ME THE FLIP ALONE!"

        That's all it takes. His wall completely crumbles and I can see his different emotions: anger, frustration, shame, guilt. It spurs me on and I practically snarl,

        "Yeah, that's right tough boy. I know you were one of the people who busted into the room, after it was all over."

        To make it sting a little more I added an extra UMPH to the "after". He just stares at me for a while, and I can see him fighting himself. Should he tell me? Or should he just walk away? I guess he chose the latter, because next thing I know I see him shake his head with a grim smile on his face. Then he continues to walk to his house, leaving me standing there disappointed and confused wishing I had gotten some answers.

                                                                     2 DAYS LATER:

        I haven't seen him since that night. I'm not sure if he's purposely avoiding me, if he's lost interest, or if he's hiding. I tell myself that it doesn't make a difference, and that at least I'm finally alone; but I keep getting this feeling in my stomach. I'm not sure why. I don't even know what it is. I just want it to go away.

        The whispers haven't died down one bit. I've sort of started to learn to block them out, but it's actually harder than you would think. I hear snickers, and the teacher clears his voice. I instantly look up and see that everyone's staring at me. Oh no. What happened?

        Looking around the room in utter confusion I notice that the only person not looking at me is Jace. I look back up to the teacher, and he just raises his eyebrows. I take a breath through my nose and take the initiative,

        "I'm sorry what did you say?"

        The teacher fights off a smile or smirk, I'm not sure which, while the rest of the class tries to cover up their laughs. My face turns a little pink, but I square my shoulders, straighten my back, and look squarely at the teacher waiting for him to tell me what I missed.

        After a while I realize that he isn't going to tell me. Neither is anyone else in this damned room. I try to hide my aggravation as he goes on with class. This time I pay attention, hoping to redeem myself. On the very first question he asks I raise my hand to answer, and I don't think twice about it. All I'm thinking about is how I'm going to redeem myself when I answer these all right. I hear a gasp, and I look to my right in confusion, from where it came from. The girl sitting next to me is staring at the inside of my arm, and I realize I've raised my right hand not my left. And my scar is completely visible. The scar I've tried so hard to hide.

        I quickly put my hand down, and look around the classroom. Everyone's staring at me. It's going to get worse. The bell rings and I'm out of the classroom, practically running through the hallway until I get to my next one. I hide in the back of the room but it's no use. They still manage to stare and whisper and point. I hug myself and try to go as small as I can. The bell rings again, and like before I'm gone. I try to walk through the sea of students without anyone noticing me, but I can feel the stares and whispers, see the pointing fingers. I'm in the middle of it all, and I can't get out. I whirl from side to side trying to find a way to escape. I'm loosing it. Oh God, I'm loosing it!

        I won't break down in front of these people. I can't. If they see, it's ruined. It's all ruined. Everyone will know, and it'll get even worse except this time I won't be the only one to suffer. It'll be my friends and family. Stopping in the middle of this crazy sea that's staring at me I close my eyes taking in a deep breath, and deciding that when I open them I will calmly walk through those front doors and leave. Except when I open my eyes, someone's standing in front of me and I groan on the inside not wanting to do this. But if I don't, she won't  leave me alone and it'll get worse for her. I can't infect her with the craziness that's become me. So I take a deep breath, mentally steel myself, and I do what I have to.