Pain

Just Shut Up!

                                                                2 DAYS LATER-

         "Emma! Come on or we're going to be late!"

        "I don't even see the point of going, mom!"

        "She's helped a lot, so we're going. Now get your butt down here!!"

        Groaning and going down the stairs in my blue jeans and blue striped shirt (with a silver heart), my mom looks me over shaking her head. I know she doesn't approve, but I don't really care. I didn't even want to go anyway. We're headed to a group therapist session, with a bunch of people I don't know and don't really care to know either. We jump in the car, and I keep my mind carefully blank on the ride up.

        As we step out of the car everything looks the same, but inside it's busier. We're directed to a huge room, that's completely bare save for a circle of 8 seats. One for me, one for the therapist, two for some of the students who were chosen to watch over us and participate in this event, and four more for everyone else. Mom has to wait outside, in the lounge. Thankfully none of the parents are allowed in here during our session, and they can't eavesdrop either. Ms. Jones (the therapist) shushes us, and we all listen as she explains what we're doing first. It's pretty much role call, and she goes first.  The two students, one of which is the hot and mysterious stranger who keeps popping up everywhere, are Jill and Jace. The other four seated are Tanya, Kody, Jim, and Terrence.

        Ms. Jones asks us who would like to go first and no one volunteers.

        "Alrighty then. Emma, you go first."

        Glancing at her the smile is plain as day on her face. She thinks I'll spill all my problems. Well she's about to be severely disappointed. I look everyone in the eyes, even Jace, before I look back at her and I don't look away.

        "My name is Emma. I went to a party. I had an accident; but I'm fine now."

        I can tell Ms. Jones is annoyed. It becomes even more obvious when she tells me,

"Emma stop lying. We all know what you've been through is a traumatic experience, and it's okay to let people in. We're all here to listen. So give us something to listen to."

        This lady never gives up. I look straight at her and say with absolute certainty,

         "I did."

        When I look away I see the disappointment in Jace's eyes, and I see him open his mouth. Glaring daggers at him he slowly shuts it with a sad and amused look in his eyes. The rest of the session goes by in a blur as everyone more or less tells their story, and the next thing I know I hear Jace.

        I look up to see him talking to the group about how people lie, and how it doesn't help anyone. That if there is anybody here whose lying it's fine, but they needed to tell the truth now. He glances at me on this last part, and I can't help but to get angry. Ms. Jones dismisses us, and is the first to leave.

        I grab Jace by the back of his shirt, and keep him there until everyone has gone except us. I look up into his eyes and I explode.

        "Listen I have no flipping clue who you are, and personally I don't really care. You didn't see anything yesterday, because whatever you think you saw was just you being an idiot. So quit stalking me and stay out of my life!"

        He scoffs and opens his mouth. I don't want to hear any of what he has to say so I try to walk past him. Only he grabs my arm turning me around to look him in the eyes.

        "Whatever I saw was no fucking lie, and don't even try and pretend it was. I honestly don't care why you don't want anyone in, but you're gonna need someone. So when you're ready to admit that something's wrong, come find me. Until then, just shut up," he growls the last part and then walks off. 

         I glare at his back until I realize he left something in my hand. I look down and see it has an address written on it. I roll my eyes, shove it in my pocket, and go to my mom. I don't need him, I won't need him, and he's royally mistaken if he thinks that's ever going to change.

1 MONTH LATER-

I haven't seen him since that night. I don't know what happened to the piece of paper, but for some reason his address was scolded into my head. I've been having nightmares. It's always the same thing. The same night. And they don't always happen when I'm asleep. Now I have them every day, almost every five minutes the memories flash through my mind. I don't think anyone knows what to think. I won't talk to Ms. Jones, and I don't talk about what happened. I do my best to act like my old self, but sometimes I just can't remember who I was.

I know everyone can sense a difference. It only makes me try harder, but the harder I try the worse it gets. I don't know how much longer I can do this.

2 WEEKS LATER-

I have them pretty much all day now. Almost everything reminds me of that night. I need to get my mind off of this. I don't think. When I hear my mom's door close, I just go. Going to the first bar I can think of, The Elixir, (it's pretty much where anyone and everyone can go to get drunk) they never check ID's and that's what I need right now. To be able to forget. To lose myself, and the memories.

When I walk in, I smell the alcohol and sweat. People are everywhere. I order a jack daniels and after a while everything starts to fade. That is until I hear the laughing. The taunting. I turn around and see a group of guys, who by the looks of it are bikers, picking on the waitress. She holds her own, and they don't really do anything but it sets the memories off again. I don't know why it just does.  I squeeze my eyes shut, and cover my ears but it's not working. So instead I think of HIM.

What he saw. How he almost told. The total jerkishness of him. The longer I sit there the angrier I get. Before too long I'm leaving the bar, getting in a cab and telling the driver, (an older guy about 55) the address: 1021 Brooklynn Road. I know it's wrong, but this way I don't have to think about anything but my anger. The cab driver pulls up to an apartment complex, and I jump out throwing a ten dollar bill over the seat, as I begin to look for apartment 3B. By the time I find it I'm bursting with anger.

I pound on the door, and as soon as it opens I burst into the room and turn around to face him.