In the shadows

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             Later that evening, I am seated at the huge dinner table. There are three such tables, each completely occupied by the pack wolves/ I am seated on the left of Xalvador and his chair is almost attached to mine. The cook and the maids serve some spaghetti to everyone and the people dig in immediately. I take a morsel, struggling with the fork and then finally settle for the spoon instead. Xalvador notices this and glances at me to which I look away embarrassed. I manage to use the spoon perfectly after some bites and my thoughts drift to my previous life. I was happy as a rogue. Free, independent, and able to do whatever I wanted to do. I didn't have to adhere to any norms or fit in anywhere. But... fate had other plans and now this is the life I'm living.

          The dinner for me was awkward. With all the wolves constantly giving me curious looks, I felt like running away from there. I still managed to get through it but now is the part I had been dreading all along. The night. In the same room with Xalvador. I get into his room and sit on the bed not knowing what to do. Xalvador enters soon and goes to the closet.

"Go and change sugar bun. It's time to sleep." Xalvador says after he is done changing, not to mention looking even more attractive in the casual shorts and t-shirt. I get up sighing. I choose a pair of black pajamas and a yellow t-shirt for the night. The pair isn't revealing at all which offer some relief to me. I enter back into his room and lie down on the bed, closing my eyes slowly drifting towards a slumber.

          I'm suddenly awake again when there is shuffling but I keep my eyes closed. The bed dips and I know the monster is beside me. A part of me is happy that my mate is so close to me but the sane part of me wants to cringe away from him and run from this hell. To my horror, an arm drapes on my waist and I'm pulled closer to Xalvador's chest with my back to him. My breathing shoots up and the mate bond is satisfied and aroused at the same time. It wants more. It wants a mark. A claim. And then the ultimate consummation. But I won't ever do that. This is the farthest I will allow Xalvador to go and the mate bond has to satisfy itself. If it can't, I would rather die and end this agony once and for all. But the mate bond won't allow that too. I know about it. It would make the attraction irresistible and almost impossible to overcome. I would end up doing things I don't want to do and stopping it would be out of control. Being this close to him will only deepen the intensity and the craving of the mate bond.

"Sleep sugar bun. Its quite late." Xalvador says and I yelp slightly. I squish my eyes tighter and struggle to breathe normally. Xalvador leans towards me and his hand tightens around my waist. I feel the hair on the back of my neck rising because of his hot breath. He takes a deep sniff of my scent and I realize that this is something he does everytime we are close. I don't know the reason though. I calm my uneven breathing and try to sleep. Soon I hear Xalvador's breathing become even and that provides me with some sort of relief. I try to slip into a deep sleep but my eyes stay wide open, and I end up thinking about everything that has happened and everything that might happen. Another fact is that I woke up late today so its natural if I can't sleep. I was never a heavy sleeper. This room, this proximity irritates me and I decide to get out for a while. The feeling of being trapped might go away if I go in the training field for a while now. With a constant prayer in my mind, I lift Xalvador's heavy hand from my waist and drop it lightly. I wiggle slowly and reach the end of the bed. With soft steps, I open the door and close it as noiselessly as I can.

           I go down the stairs and the entire house is eerily quiet. It's amazing how the chatter that was present throughout the day is completely dead right now. No wolves roaming around or no wolves training. But that's exactly what I was looking for. The day was an ordeal except for the time I spent with Liam. I hope I run into him tomorrow again so I might get to know him better. But then I remember Xalvador's reaction to me and Liam being friends and I sigh sadly. Not such a good idea then. I don't want him to get into trouble because of me.

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