The Whore of Babylon

Chapter 8 | part 2

Their month of freedom passed in blissful peace. In the absence of Samsu's shadow, Kisha recovered from the birth and pulled out of her pit of depression. With her mother rosy and happy again, Sarri was thriving, and the four girls could finally make a harmonious home, free from fear.

Eliana had adopted a little corner of the garden for her own, and spent several hours a day out there, cultivating the herbs that Mari used most often, and growing mustard and garlic for seasoning at their own dining table.

During those hours spent alone with the plants, with only her thoughts for company, Ashan's visit played constantly on her mind.

While the days passed in pleasurable contentment for Sarri, Kisha and Mari, Eliana was reliving Ashan's kiss, dreaming of his powerful arms around her and the safety she had felt there. As she remembered, all the sensations would come flooding back, tinged with the agony of knowing that it could never happen again. Uselessly, she found herself imagining ways in which they could be together: trysts, secrets and lies – all the villainy that Ashan could never consent to if it compromised his honour.

The scenario that came back to her over and over was the one in which Samsu contracted a fever or was assassinated before he ever made it back through Nippur's gates. She knew it was just a dream, but it was not beyond the realms of possibility, and so it gave her comfort all the same.

She still cringed a little, remembering the fury in Ashan's eyes as he realised what he had said, in the same breath as he declared his loyalty to Samsu. Her heart was torn – she delighted in his admission of love, revelling in the feeling of being wanted and cared for by one other than her own blood; and she was irritated with him, too, for giving her a hope that could never be realised, a longing that placed them both in danger.

Most of all, she wanted to confront him about his own anger – was he annoyed with himself for saying something untrue in the heat of the moment? Perhaps he did not love her at all, only lusted after her.

She needed to know, if she was ever to sleep soundly again.

But Ashan was cleverly avoiding being in her presence. He timed his visits to Kisha and the baby when Eliana was down at the bathhouse, or out tending her garden. Once or twice, and she might have believed it to be a coincidence, but once or twice a week for a full moon was more than mere luck on his part. She was convinced that he had set a spy to watch the apartments.

Despite her fervent longing, however, Eliana wasn't entirely given to pining. She had plenty of hours to spare, and devoted a number of them to Ashan's revelation that Samsu admired her.

She had been shocked beyond words to learn what he had said about her, although part of her wondered how much he truly admired her, and how much was just exaggeration for the sake of shaming the coward. She could well imagine him shouting into the poor man's face: 'you call yourself a soldier? My whore has more courage than you! If she were a man, I would have her in your place.'

Words meant to humiliate one, rather than to praise the other.

But still, she meant to take the insight and use it to her own advantage, if she could. There would be a fine line to tread between maintaining his admiration, and not earning herself further punishment that might leave permanent damage.

The way to keep her little family safe was undoubtedly with absolute compliance – but she was determined to balance obedience with her pride. If she could only keep Samsu's admiration, there was a chance, however small, that she might soften him a little. His good opinion and goodwill meant nothing at all to her ego, but everything to the wellbeing of her new family.

She resolved to do as he asked, but never with willingness or good grace. He would always know that she was under duress, and if he ever hoped to win her admiration in return, he was as deluded as the Brute was vicious.