I know a lot of people try to say, "He's always there, you can always talk to him." But as much as I try, and as much as they are right, in a sense, there are sometimes where I want to just be able to talk to you face-to-face. Days where I'm just hurting, and I feel like giving up on everything. I try to talk to you all the time, and you have answered me so many times in so many ways, and I can't express how greatful I am for that.
But I still wish I could still talk to you in this mortality. I wish the rules that you created would allow that, but I guess maybe it's just not part of my plan. The plan that you made for me when you created me.
I'm trying as hard as I can to stay on the path that you've created, but sometimes it's really tough, and I really screw up. I screw up with my friends, my siblings, my parents, and sometimes, you. Then I hurt.
And that is when I want to be able to talk to you. I know that I have talked to you so many times, every night actually, but sometimes it just feels like you don't hear me. I'm not trying to blame you for anything, because I know that you're a busy guy, up there. You've done so much for me, saved me in so many ways, I don't blame you for having other things to do. But sometimes I just need you, and I'm sure you know that. I know that you're there, listening to every word, every plea I have. I just wish that I could meet you in person, feel your touch, let your arms wrap around me so I'm able to know that everything in the world will be okay, because all that matters is your love.
I know it's there. I love you.
Your son,
Tanner
