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40: We Are Exponentially Fucked

40: We're Exponentially Fucked

I woke up not wanting to move. My mind was a sea of sadness, and I didn't want to swim out of it and face reality. Today was basically the day that determined who lived, who died, and who told our stories. Would our children tell the story of night or would I throw away my– yeah. I really loved Hamilton.

My mind kept running with visions of the future and I wanted to block everything out and move someplace war wasn't even a possibility. I turned on my side and Kili was sound asleep.

"How the hell am I gonna ever be okay with losing you?" I whispered and ran my hands through his beautiful brown hair.

The love of my life groaned and deepened his face into his pillow. I vaguely realized I would never see any of my friends again. My calloused hands ran through my hair, and I kissed Kili's light brown skin before I got up. I paced around the room while I braided my hair in preparation for the war. I hummed a solemn tune and forced myself not to cry. Why did I even believe what I saw? Maybe because it felt so real... the pain of loss and suffering and anger. Maybe because in my heart... I knew it was true. When I was done, I woke up Kili. 

~x~x~x~

The wind smacked my face, and I had to keep from staggering back. Thorin was leading everyone in the front, and I stayed in the back with Bilbo so we would escape his livid gaze.

"Miss Andiel, are you alright?" Bilbo asked.

I looked down at my friend. "Huh? What? Yeah I am. Are you?"

"You're blinking like crazy," he pointed out.

I ran my hands over my face.

"I'm fine, don't worry about it," I told him and looked at him.

He nodded and we kept walking.

It was an absolutely cold winter's day, and I didn't know how I was supposed to fight if my fingertips were frozen. Thranduil's massive army held Bard's small one in the mix, and I overlooked the sight below me.

I was staring at my death.

The two kings rode on their steeds towards the gate, and Thorin shot an arrow before they could reach the door. The men looked up at Thorin, confused by his actions.

"I will put the next one between your eyes," Thorin said gruffly.

I rolled my eyes as the dwarves cheered at Thorin's remark.

Thranduil lowered his head a bit, and all the elves cocked their arrows and pointed them at us. Bilbo ducked behind me, and the Company ducked; Thorin and I were the only ones who stayed in place. The Elf King raised his hand, and the elves stood down.

He spoke into the crisp air. "We have come to tell you payment of your debt has been offered... and accepted."

Payment? I thought. What payment?

"What payment?" Thorin snapped. "I gave you nothing – you have nothing."

Bard reached into his pocket, and took out the Arkenstone. "We have this."

My eyes widened and I looked at Bilbo. He nodded at me, and I turned to Thorin. He had put down his bow.

"They have the Arkenstone," my love said, "Thieves! How came you by the heirloom of our house?! That stone belongs to the king."

I had almost forgotten about Thorin's greed; he liked the jewel because it was a jewel and because it held such sentimental worth to all the dwarves.