Turning Tables (Jikook)

Chapter 39: The Aftermath

"Hyung?" Tae asked as he slowly opened the door to Jimin's room, which used to be his shared room with Jungkook. Jimin didn't move. He just continued staring at the ceiling. Tae moved closer and closed the door behind him. He sat down beside Jimin and took a deep breath before talking. "How are you doing?" He asked.

As he expected, Jimin didn't answer. He just continued staring, like as if he completely missed Tae's question. Tae sighed and moved closer to Jimin. "Hyung, we are getting worried about your physical well-being." Tae began talking. "You should consider going out sometimes, or just walking around the house or the neighborhood." Tae added. Jimin diverted his gaze to the boy sitting beside him.

"Tae... I don't want to stand up. And I couldn't. I am feeling too weak to stand or walk around like you said." Jimin answered to Tae. His voice was hoarse, like he hadn't been talking for a long time, or he talked too much that he used up all his voice.

"Hyung, it's ok for you to take your time, and no one's pressuring you to rush through this whole process of analyzing your feelings." Tae said as he moved closer to hold Jimin's shoulder. "But, Jimin-hyung, you are killing yourself in here. Hyung, you are way stronger than this. And you know that. Jungkook rejected you three times in a row in the past, and three times you held your head up high and went on living." Tae said to Jimin, invoking tears from Jimin and himself. "Hyung, please, don't let yourself rot in this room. Hyung, LIVE." Tae said to Jimin, patting his back. Jimin sat up and hugged Tae.

"Thanks Tae, for being here for me." Jimin said. Tae stood up and left Jimin inside his room to give him more time alone.

Outside, in the living room, Hoseok, Jin, and Yoongi were seated around the TV. They weren't talking. The TV wasn't even on. They just sat there, thinking about the events that have come to pass. Jin looked up to see the stressed faces of the two rappers that were with him in the living room. He cleared his throat and spoke.

"What do you think will happen now?" Jin asked the two.

"I don't know, hyung. I really don't know. After all the hurt that Jimin's been through from loving Jungkook? I really don't know what to expect." Yoongi answered.

"Me too. I don't know what will happen. But what I know is that a person could only take so much. But we all know Jimin. That kid is a fighter." Hoseok said.

"Honestly... I want them to still fix this mess. I want them to be together for real, without anything that would stop them from loving each other. No blocked memories. No accident." Jin said to the two. "I saw it all. When they were acting to be together to get me and Tae know our feelings for each other, I didn't really buy it at first. It just seemed all too sudden for me. But as the days passed, I saw how they showered each other with love. I was convinced that they were finally lovers. Everything was so real – their love for each other is definitely not just for show. They love each other, but they ended up hurting." Jin finished.

"Yeah... I also doubted it at first, when Tae revealed everything to us. But after some time, I was convinced that they really are in love with each other. The way they looked at each other, the way they move, the way they talk. Without knowing it, they already loved each other."  Yoongi said to his band mates.

"But I really don't know. You know that I was never a pessimist, but I really don't know about it this time. Jimin got hurt AGAIN, for the nth time in a row. And all of those times, it was because of Jungkook. Jungkook loves Jimin, but he's always ending up hurting his hyung." Hoseok said to the other two. "And we are all aware that not all love end like yours, Jin-hyung" Hoseok added, looking at Jin. "Not all love stories end with a happily ever after." He ended.

"Even though that's what they always say in the stories of my favorite characters, I know that it's not always the case." Jin said. "But I really hope everything end in a good way."

The three sat in the living room and thinking about what might happen when they heard a door open and close.

"Tae and Namjoon just got out of the two's rooms, right?" Jin asked. The other two nodded and watched as Jimin stepped down the flight of stairs slowly, and without acknowledging the them, headed straight to the porch. The three panicked when they realized this.

"Jimin! Whatever that's happening right now, there's no reason for you to give up! Don't jump!" Jin shouted. Jimin turned around to look at them.

"I'm not jumping." Jimin said to the three as he entered the porch. He closed the glass pane door behind him and opened his arms and closed his eyes, feeling the air rush around him. To him, it felt like years since the last time he felt the air like this. It was comforting – it felt like it was taking some of the bitterness with it as it rushed across and past Jimin's skin. Jimin opened his eyes and gave himself time to adjust to the brightness.

It can't go on like this. It can't end like this. There has to be some end to all of this. We can't just lock ourselves away forever. Jimin said to himself as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. He doesn't stop them this time. He just let everything pour out of him. He just wanted to end this torment, and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, if he let the tears fall as much as they want, maybe he will feel lighter. This has to stop. I don't care anymore what might happen. I don't care anymore if we end up together or not. I'm just tired of everything.

Jungkook was still curled in his sheets, staring at nothing. His whole body was sore. His eyes, his nose, his hands and legs. But one place was feeling nothing. It was his heart. He couldn't feel anything and it scares him. He doesn't even know if his heart was still beating. He felt like right there, in the left side of his chest, was a hole, devoid of anything. All the hurt must've made me numb. Jungkook thought. He lifted his gaze to the curtains. He slowly and painfully helped himself up, and went to the curtains. He opened the curtains and let bright light enter Namjoon's room. He covered his eyes, but immediately put his hands down and let the blinding light fill him. He walked to the window, and opened its glass pane. He leaned forward and felt the light and air hit him. The air was cold for him. He leaned further and stuck his head out of the window. He closed his eyes, and felt the sunlight dry the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. He held onto the window, and cried. He just couldn't stop crying. He couldn't stop crying for one hour straight. Sometimes he just wants to bang his head on the wall to make himself sleep. It is only then he couldn't feel the hurt. It was only in his sleep he stopped crying, or at least didn't know he was still crying.

It's over. Jungkook said to himself as he continued to cry. It's over, and all because of my fault. Because I was stupid. Because I was coward.Jungkook said to himself. Because I loved him too much. Jungkook started shaking because of his crying. But he doesn't stop himself. He just let all the emotions fill him. I don't have the right to expect anything good to happen after this. I don't deserve him. Jungkook continued. And then, he realized, that maybe it's about time to accept everything. Maybe, it's time he learns that there are things in life that has to end, may it be for good, or for bad. That maybe, good things like this falls apart, for better things to fall together. Maybe... just maybe... it's time to accept that there are things that cannot be.

It's over. Jungkook said as he returned to the bed, and for the first time in a long time, fell into a deep sleep at peace.