The Burden of Secrets

Chapter 7

I spent the night chasing sleep once again. This was becoming the norm since Dad went into hospital.  I think I got more sleep on those plastic hospital chairs, than I was getting in my own bed.

I must have dropped off eventually as the sunshine of morning was straining through the curtains when my eyes opened; my body trapped within a mess of sweaty covers.

I grabbed my phone and saw it was almost 8am. I had better get my arse in gear if I was going to get to school today. I had no desire to go, but if that is what Dad wanted...

After a quick wash and a brush of teeth, I pulled on my school uniform. It was clean and pressed: Mum had continued to use her time at home to clean anything that moved. I could hear movement from Zane's room next door.

I shoved my feet into my shoes and walked to his room, knocking softly.

Zane's head popped around the door.

"You ok?"

I looked up into his tired eyes.

"Are you?!"

He shook his head in return and opened the door wide, letting me in.

"You are up early," I commented. "If I were you, I would have had a lie in."

I yawned thinking about the prospect of going back to sleep.

"Yeah well, I have had my marching orders," His tone was acidic. "I thought I had better start packing."

I sat down on his made up bed. Everything in his room was immaculate. No clothes on the floor or long-forgotten mouldy mugs like I had.

"Get your dirty shoes off my bed, heathen."

I smiled at him and pulled my shoes off and plopped them on the floor; they fell in a heap, laces straggled across the floor.

Zane shook his head. "That is not what I really meant."

I grinned at him: "Neat freak."

"Slob."

Ahh, this was more like old times.

"So, are you looking forward to going back to see your friends?"

"Yeah." He replied unconvincingly, swinging his bag onto the bed.

I was itching to ask him who Craig was. Were they a couple? For how long? Was he gay, bisexual? But I couldn't say anything. It didn't seem right. If he wanted to come out to me, he would. It stung that he hadn't and I didn't know why. Maybe he didn't trust me, or thought I would react badly?

He sat down next to me on the bed.

"I don't really want to leave Dad: all of you."

His head slumped and I jumped forward and threw my arm around his shoulders. As I pulled back, he wiped away the tears in his eyes but I left the ones that had fallen onto my cheeks.

He looked at me; his dark eyes filled with sadness. "I should be the one staying here: I'm the big brother," He grumbled.

"You know what Dad is like. There is no changing his mind over anything."

"Stubborn."

"Like a donkey."

He smiled but then his face grew serious again as he slumped back on the bed, his shoulder pressed against mine.

"What are we going to do without him?"

I didn't answer but rested my head on his shoulder.

"ZEKE!"