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14 :: Truth

"I'm afraid we would have to let Dr. Bolton talk with Mr. Kim. I know he is suffering after what his ex-girlfriend as per what you told us the other day. We think it's best that you let him talk with Dr. Bolton. She's the best psychologist here and I'm sure she can probably convince him,"

Yeah, right. He studies psychology himself. Those were the words I so desperately wanted to tell Taehyung's head doctor. But I didn't since it was disrespectful, so I nodded and signed another information form and handed it over to the head doctor. Hoping I made the right decisions, I thanked the doctor and left towards Taehyung's new room.

We were still in the same level, but Taehyung was transferred to the psychology unit. He didn't know it since the head doctor had sedated him in fear he would struggle. They moved him to a new room with a new view. He was unconscious, but my guess is he's still going to treat the new room like a foreign surrounding as he did before.

Standing outside, I watched from the small window as Dr. Lacey Bolton checked on Taehyung's vitals and observed him. She looked concerned and her eyebrows were scrunched together. Best psychologist she may be, but she's treating another psychology student. It was going to be hard on her end.

"Mr. Jung, how nice to see you. I take it you've taken Dr. Kane's advice and signed the appeal form for counselling?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and smiled. She pulled me back to reality by inviting me to the level's lounge for coffee. She asked me to tell her everything and I did, from top to bottom, every single detail.

"Tell me, Mr. Jung, are you in love with Mr. Kim?"

I was shocked. She was correct, but how did she even make that conclusion just by me telling her all the things that have happened to Taehyung?

"I'll take it that I'm right. Don't be confused. I'm a psychologist, I was trained to read people to detect their lies when they're confronting their sicknesses. When you talked about Mr. Kim, you sort of just slipped into your own world. You are madly in love and you don't know what you should do. Am I right?"

I sighed and nodded. She was right, of course. How could I argue?

"It's alright, Mr. Jung. There's no need to be afraid of your sexuality. If Mr. Kim is truly dedicated to his course at school, I'm sure he's already figured it out. From what you've described, I'm saying that he might have dated Ellie just to lock away his feelings for you. That's what I can get from what you described. But if Mr. Kim is dedicated to the counselling program and I can read him without him putting up a mask, I'm sure I can tell immediately if he truly likes you or not,"

I smiled and thanked Dr. Bolton. She's a nice and beautiful lady. But too bad she's already taken, otherwise I would have introduced her to John. The two would be most compatible. Leaving for Taehyung's room, I ordered a cup of hot chocolate to go.

When I got into the room, I saw that Taehyung was awake and had propped himself up and was leaning against a pillow. His eyes were empty and he was pale. His hair was all over the place and he was fiddling his fingers.

"Hey,"

No reply. Just silence. Worried, I placed the cup of hot chocolate on the coffee table before sitting beside him on the bed.

"Tae, you okay? Want me to get you some water or something to eat?"

Again, there was no reply from him. He didn't even look at me. Sighing, I held onto his shoulders and made him look at me. His eyes were staring straight into mine, which made me shudder a little.

"Tae, ar-"

"Why did you save me?"

"What?"

I stared at him, unbelieving. His eyes held some sort of emotion I wasn't able to read but I could tell that he was hating me for what I did.

"Why did you save me? You could have left me to die. It hurts, hyung. It hurts like fire. Don't you get it? I would rather die than suffer through this pain. So why? Why did you save me?"

"Because you're my best friend and I love you. I don't want to lose you like I've lost Haeri and I don't want you to leave like Haeri. I love you, Taehyung and if that isn't enough, you have your parents and your younger siblings. Have you even given thought about them? About how they would feel when they find out their son, their older brother, is dead and can't ever be brought back to life? You're so selfish, you know that?"

I was crying by the time I finished. True, I told him that I loved him, but I'm pretty sure he took it the other way. I let go of his shoulders and just turned to stare out the window, my tears falling and staining my pants wet. I was about to get up from the bed when I felt arms envelope my waist and his head leaning against my shoulder.

"Don't go, hyung. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm being selfish. I'm sorry for not thinking about my family. I'm sorry for not thinking about their feelings. And I'm sorry for not being able to return yours, hyung,"

Frozen, my eyes widened at his words. He knew? All this time, he knew and he never said anything about it?