butterfly ▸ vhope

03 :: Distance

Taehyung tried different ways to contact me. Texting. Calling. Banging on my door. Threatening to burn down the apartment just to have me leave my room. Sure, I was obviously trying to avoid him and not for some unknown reason. It had hurt me when I realized that the one-sided love between him and I would never have a chance. He was heterosexual and he was in love with Ellie. I did not want to be the one who tore them apart. I just needed time.

Speaking of time, I wonder how long I have been in my room, only leaving when I hear Taehyung exiting the apartment or when I needed to use the washroom. I checked the clock beside my bed and sighed. It had been exactly 6 days, 4 hours, 52 minutes and 13 seconds since I first started ignoring him; not that I was counting.

"Hobie hyung, if you don't open this damn door, I swear I will burn down the apartment and pull the fire alarm just to lure you out,"

I smiled softly. Threatening me again? Has he not learned that threatening meant nothing after so many days? I listened as he mumbled to himself about something before shuffling away from the door. I sighed and rolled to my other side to sleep.

"Jung Hoseok, I give you three seconds to tell me why the heck have you been hiding in here for six god damn days. And your three seconds start now,"

I jumped a little when I saw Taehyung standing at the side of my bed. I mentally laughed as I realised that it had took him six whole days and five hours to remember that we each had spare keys to every part of the house.

"One,"

I crossed my arms and kept silent.

"Two,"

The expression on his face darkened and I could tell that he was serious. Very serious.

"Thr-"

"Okay!" I cut him before he could finish saying three.

I was avoiding you because of my stupid feelings for you was what I wanted to say. But somehow the words got caught in my throat and I was tongue-tied. I didn't know how to explain to him why I was avoiding him for almost a week.

"I'm waiting, Hoseok,"

I sighed. He really was serious. Dropping honourifics was him being serious. Since we had been friends since young, I didn't really mind. Plus, we were only two days apart.

"I was not feeling well. A bad case of the flu and I was afraid that I would pass it onto you,"

His glare on me softened and crossed to sit beside me. He pressed a hand to my forehead and checked my temperature, something we often did for one another when we were sick. But this feeling of his hand on my forehead and him gazing into my eyes, it made the butterflies in my stomach flutter and sent my heart thumping.

"There's no fever. Are you alright? You could've told me instead of ignoring me. I would've understand,"

He took his hand away and my heart clenched as I missed the feeling instantly. I looked away, hiding away the pained look on my face. I didn't need him to know. No, I didn't want him to know. If he knew, would he hate me and end our friendship?

"I'll go out and get you some soup from your favourite soup place. Stay here and get some rest, okay?"

He smiled and ruffled my hair as though I was the younger one out of us two. I nodded and sighed heavily when I heard him close the door to our apartment, reminding myself that he had left.

If I can't ignore him, what should I do? I need time and if he's going to bang down my door every time I ignore him, I don't think I'll ever lose my feelings towards him.

I laid on my back and stared up at the ceiling, wondering how I could have some time to myself to clear away these stupid feelings when the most painful idea came in mind.

Getting up, I grabbed my duffle bag and stuffed a few changes of clothing and my necessities before writing something on a sticky note and sticking it onto my door. Sighing, I opened the door to our apartment and left, hoping Luke would be able to spare me an empty room for a few days.

'Sorry, Taehyung. I need time alone. I'll come back when my head is clear.'