The American Nightmare [BoyXBoy]

.:10:.

I opened up my eyes, my whole body feeling heavy. It was as if I knew I had to get out of bed, but I physically could not. And why? Because of how much I dreaded the day which was to come. I was simply not ready to get up and face it with a heavy weight of guilt on my shoulders. I did not understand why the guilt was even there. I had done this so many times before; why did this time feel different?

Finally I managed to begrudgingly drag myself out of the comfort of my bed and get dressed. I decided to go for something black today, to reflect my mood.

With a sigh, I sluggishly approached my bed and climbed on, standing on top of it. I walked over to the wall to where the small, wooden cross was hanging, above where I slept. I liked to keep it there to stay safe during the night, and treated it almost like one of those dream catchers but, during the day, it had to be twisted around: an upside-down cross.

What my family did could be classified as 'strange' or 'taboo' and it was certainly looked down upon but, to us - or at least to my parents - it was something more. They did these rituals to gain spiritual power from the only one they believed could give it to them. Mike and I were born into it and basically forced to lead this kind of life too, but neither of us really minded. I was not particularly fond of this, and I did not even believe in it, but I wanted to make my parents proud for now. And, if kidnapping people was the way to achieve that, then I would accept it and just do it.

Sluggishly making my way downstairs, with my eyes drooping, I realised that Mother was already in the kitchen with some breakfast for the family, as if it was a completely normal day. Well, for her, it was but, for me, everything felt different.

She greeted me and all I did was nod my head in her direction, sitting down at the table and picking up my fork. However, before I could even start eating my food, my mother stopped me by dragging my plate of food away, making my fork hit the table beneath. I furrowed my eyebrows and gazed up at her.

"You can eat when you're done feeding him," she nodded her head in the direction of the basement door, her blonde hair swaying from side to side. I instantly tensed up, my aching hands clutching the cutlery tighter before I completely dropped it. My teeth dug into my bottom lip, as a nervous habit, and I stared at the old door in worry.

Would I be able to do it? Could I face him after such a betrayal? Of course I could! - I was used to this. But Kellin had been different from the others. He knew how to break me out of my shell and open me up to him. He knew so much more about me than anyone else. And now he hated me.

I groaned and pulled myself up, grabbing the plate of food that Mother had prepared for Kellin. Snatching the key from the table, I unlocked the door and slipped in, shutting it behind me while still holding the food.

The first thing I did was stop and listen. At first it was very quiet, but soon my ears caught the distant sound of what seemed like crying. It didn't matter what the noise was,  as long as it was not silence. Because silence meant death and I did not want Kellin to die.

Slowly, I crept down the long stairs. As I reached the bottom of them, I flicked the switch which turned the lights on. It took a few seconds for them to warm up but, when the light bulbs were powered, the whole room was illuminated like a stadium. It revealed the bloody altar, which stood against the far wall. I noticed that the reversed cross which had been painted on the wall had faded significantly; we would have to repaint it soon.

Approaching the door, which was situated in the corner of the room, I shakily placed my bandaged palm on the handle and stepped through. Once again, it was dark. And, when I switched on the lights, what I saw made me gasp.

I did not understand why I was acting this way. I had seen other looking just like this and all of them had no affect on me; they meant nothing. So, why was my rib cage aching at the sight of Kellin hanging and chained to the wall by his wrists, with his chest unevenly rising and falling with each one of his sobs?

It must have been because of the fact that I had always seen him as this bright human being. He smiled a lot, so seeing him so miserable and vulnerable was foreign to me. Kellin was laid back and relaxed but, as soon as he realised that someone had entered the room, he tensed up and dropped his gaze to the ground, refusing to even meet eyes with me.

The ache I felt did not leave and,if anything, it worsened.

"Kellin?" I whispered softly. My voice was supposed to come out harsh and scary, but I could not force myself to speak any louder. It was as if my voice had nearly vanished.

It was obvious that hearing me had an impact on Kellin, because his breathing only quickened. However, I still had to get my job done and this stupid guilt was not going to stand in the way.

"I brought you some food," I murmured meekly, taking shy strides towards him. When I was finally in front of Kellin, I could fully see how terrible he looked. The red of his cheeks and puffiness of his eyes told me that he had cried a lot. And that thought made me want to cry, for some stupid reason. Looking up, I spotted the fact that the metal shackles were digging into his wrists like daggers, as he hung about half a foot above ground. I felt so small compared to him, although he was the one who should have been intimidated by the other. Why was I finding this so scary?

"I don't want your food!" He snapped angrily, making me wince at his words and take a small step away. "I don't want anything from you."

"But you have to eat," I countered logically. "You'll starve if you don't. And I don't want you to die."

"Really?" He hissed venomously. "Because, last night you seemed very keen to lock me down here for whatever you want to do."

I felt like Kellin deserved answers, but was I the appropriate person to give them to him? It would only hurt him more coming from me.

"Please eat! I really don't want you to die now, and this is the only way to make that happen. So, please, just eat some," I begged.

What I said was not a complete lie. It was true that I did not want Kellin to die - and especially not now - but it was inevitable and he probably was going to die anyway. Well, unless he were to escape, but that would be lrstty mucb impossible with how careful we were.

Mike and I's parents lead this...cult and we did not have much of a say in what happened as they knew the most about these rituals. So, if they said that Kellin had to die, Kellin had to die. It was that simple. Of course, I did not want anyone to die, but they were doing it for power and luck.

"Get away from me!" Kellin yelled, finally fully facing me which gave me the opportunity to examine his face. His eyes had dramatically sunken in,  almost like he was already dead. The corners of his lips, which were nearly always curled up into a grin, were being pulled down. He had only been here for one night, but he looked like he had been locked up in the same place for at least a month. Maybe that was what despair did to you.

"Stay away from me," Kellin warned. "I don't want you anywhere near me. You might as well be dead!"

I managed to partially block out his other words, but that last sentence got to me. Was it true? Was I really that bad? But it was not my fault! I only did what my parents told me to do. Why couldn't Kellin understand, or at least let me explain.

But he was having none of it, so I simply dropped the plate, switched the lights off and headed back upstairs. I suddenly wasn't so hungry anymore.

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A/N

IT'S MARCH 22ND Y'ALL. TODAY WE'RE ALL WEARING OUR BLACK PARADE UNIFORMS AND SOBBING OVER THE BREAK UP OF MCR. BUT WE STILL HAVE HOPE THAT MAYBE ONE DAY THEY WILL GET BACK TOGETHER. LET'S PRAY.