She Told Me Not to Worry (SEQUEL to He Told Me Not to Tell) COMPLETE

65

Kenzie's POV

I could tell Mom was talking to me, but my mind wasn't processing anything. Once I had stopped crying, I felt like I didn't have the energy, or even the care, to respond to anything. Mom kept going on about how she wasn't mad, and how she still loved me, but it was hard to focus on exactly what she was saying.

So I just sat there. The tears had stopped, along with any emotion. I wasn't scared. I was angry. I wasn't sad or relieved or overwhelmed with guilt. I wasn't anything.

I could tell Mom was worried about me just by the tone of her voice. I wasn't responding to her. I might shift my eyes every once in a while, but I didn't give her any sign at all to how I was feeling. Mostly because I wasn't feeling anything. That is, for a while at least.

"Please don't do this to me," Mom begged. It was the only thing I had heard clearly, and it brought back the overwhelming guilt. My head snapped towards her. We locked eyes for a moment. She looked so hurt. And I was the one who did this. That one sentence brought me back to reality. It wasn't just me I was hurting. I was hurting Mom. How could I go on without a care? "Kenzie, you are better than this. Do not do what I did. Do not be like me," she emphasized. I still didn't verbally respond. I didn't know if that was because I didn't have the strength to, or simply because I didn't have anything worth saying. It was hard to tell.

I reached for Mom's hand and let out a shaky breath. She seemed to be surprised by this, but she didn't reject. Instead, she put her hand on top of mine before wrapping her whole arms around me. I hugged back, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I had a reason to keep going. Before, I couldn't care less if I was hurting myself or not. I could know that I was going to die and wouldn't even get upset about it. But now, now I see that what I'm doing isn't just effecting me.

I don't know why it took me so long to realize it. I thought Mom was getting upset about this because of empathy. But now I see that it's causing pain. It's causing actual pain to someone I love more than anyone else.

My mom took me in, and never gave up on me. Why should I give up on me?

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"It's okay, I'm not mad-"

"I'm not scared of you being mad," I interrupted.

She came out of the hug to look at me with a curious expression.

"Mom, I'm sorry for doing this to you. I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't know I was going to cause you pain." My voice started to crack, but I held the tears back. "I didn't understand how it was effecting you. But you are hurt, Mom. And I did that. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Kenzie."

"I want to get better, Mom," I confessed. This was the fear time I had told her that.

She gave me a small smile. "Good, Honey. And you will. You'll get better."

So I wrote this chapter in the middle of the night, so I don't know if it's even any good. Thanks for reading it anyways, haha.

I've decided to update daily for the next give days. I'll update around this time for the next five days.