Open [boyxboy] ✓

thirty-eight:: when you admit there's a problem.

He was doing that cute thin where he twined his fingers together in front of him and shuffled his feet and God, I was so in love with him. "You look cute in my clothes."

Blushing, his eyes lit up and his smile slowly turned into a grin. Fuck.

"How'd you sleep?"

"Okay, I guess," aside from waking up throughout the night just to assure myself he was there, the small amount of sleep I'd gotten was fairly decent. Reaching for my toothbrush, I turned on the tap, wetting the bristles before covering it with toothpaste. Trapping the brush in between my teeth, I furrowed my brows. But no, if I'd fallen asleep around five and was restless, I would be feeling even worse. It couldn't have been morning, it most definitely could not have been morning, "Shit, Paul, what time is it?" I'd asked, barely recognizable -with both the fact that I was preoccupied and my voice sounded like death- but he seemed to understand.

Patting in my pockets, I realized that I didn't have my phone.

And my boyfriend, if I could still call him that, bit the inside of his cheek, looking around as if he could find the time in mid-air. He stood briefly on the tips of his toes before rocking back on the balls of his feet, "Almost three, I think." Running a hand through his damp curls, his eyes met mine and I wondered why he let me sleep so long.

Brushing at my teeth, I bent down to reach in the bottom drawer and pull out a spare for him, green because it was his favorite color. I was absolutely sure that he didn't remember to grab one on his way to stop my panic attack. Heart heavy, I held it out to him before spitting in the sink, "In the afternoon?" Nodding, Paul sent me a look of confusion and my eyes had rolled without me really noticing, "Why didn't you wake me up?"

I'd slept the entire day away and I knew he must've been bored or upset or anything of that variety especially with what had happened the night before, I was such a fuck-up. Spitting out in the sink, I rinsed my mouth before reaching for the mouth wash and going through that stage.

But Paul was tolerant like he always was, forgiving like he always was and he'd seemed to forget the happenings of the night before. Completely, almost as if they were washed away, he didn't even touch close to the problem at hand and instead focused on me... He always put me first. "You need rest."

"What?" Placing my toothbrush back where it originally was, I shut off the sink before spinning to face him as he fiddled with the toothbrush in his hands, "Babe, I can't just lay in bed all day."

He flinched at that, right when I'd added the pet name and I knew he wasn't over our fight. And without looking up at me, Paul sighed, scratching at the back of his neck in nervousness. "Don't be mad..."

At that my brow furrowed and I stepped closer, taking his face in my hands and leaning up slightly to kiss at his forehead. He didn't move but he stiffened and sucked in a breath as soon as my lips had touched him. I knew exactly why he as being like this but it really wasn't a good feeling and it crossed my mind that maybe that's what he wanted to talk about... Paul was always so confident, he never failed to meet my eyes. "Why would I be mad?"

"Julian." Sighing again, he reached for the hand I had placed on his face and sat the toothbrush on the counter before loosely tugging me out of the bathroom. I'd complied, "Come on, let's lay down."

That was when I stopped him, grabbing at his wrist and hoping that he would stop stalling, "Paul, I've been laying down all day, what's wrong?"

"Come on." Understanding but not really understanding the plead in his voice, I let him pull me to my bed and laid down beside him. Allowing his arms to wrap around me, I sat still but rigid. Nothing could be this bad, right? He's not dumping me, he wouldn't say all these things; if he were, he wouldn't talk to me so softly and hold me like this.