Discovering your sexuality in high-school is one of the most challenging things a teenage boy can face. Being closet gay for months, finally coming out, being greeted with a punch in the face and being shunned is even worse.
For Julian Douglas, life can't get anymore difficult especially in the face of high school, a restrictive religious mother, and a gorgeous man with a huge following who jumped into his life at the most inopportune time.
He felt like serenity. He made me feel safe and I couldn't help but slow my heartbeat down to match his and at once, I felt the tempo of his heart thumping against my back, his breaths on my neck, goosebumps raising. I could feel it when his body finally went slack, when he'd fallen asleep and soft snores emitted.
And I thought I was getting better at this breaking down thing... I honestly did but when I was alone, I seemed to fall apart. Endless serenades of how worthless I'd been and how destructive I was; I was a disappointment to literally everyone and I hated it. My breathing became shallow as I cried for the second time that day, finally feeling content being immersed in guilt. A shudder wracked through my body, tears escaping and Paul pulled me closer as he woke silently.
Mumbling soft nothings against my skin and kissing it to slow my breathing, he tried to lull me to sleep, "It's okay, you're okay."
Refusing to speak -my voice failing me- his arm came up to wrap around my shoulder and I held him there, placing a small kiss to his tattooed skin in a broken sign of gratitude, I must've run out of tears.
And I felt at ease.
- zero:: when the intro happens.
- one:: when the bomb drops.
- two:: when you hug a stranger.
- three:: when you confront your love.
- four:: when you enter his residance.
- five:: when you get 'the talk.'
- six:: when you get shunned.
- seven:: when you befriend the outcasts.
- eight:: when you discover his sexuality.
- nine:: when your life is a teen movie.
- ten:: when you're too gay to function.
- eleven:: when your "bully" brings his buddies.
- twelve:: when you mend your broken strings.
- thirteen:: when you lose your breath.
- fourteen:: when you find a new home.
- fifteen:: when nothing is the same.
- sixteen:: when you get daring.
- seventeen:: when you get checked.
- eighteen:: when your lips are put to work.
- nineteen:: when you just can't help yourself.
- twenty:: when you keep secrets.
- twenty-one:: when you fail to keep the peace.
- twenty-two:: when you understand conflict resolution
- twenty-three:: when you're not exactly John Bender.
- twenty-four:: when you have your first panic attack.
- twenty-five:: when he comforts you.
- twenty-six:: when you attempt to move on.
- twenty-seven:: when you fail to make it public.
- twenty-eight:: when you're just tired.
- twenty-nine:: when you learn how to bond.
- thirty:: when you confuse yourself.
- thirty-one:: when he cheers you on.
- thirty-two:: when he meets the family.
- thirty-three:: when you go on your second date.
- thirty-four:: when cheating is prohibited.
- thirty-five:: when he's not like the others.
- thirty-six:: when old wounds are reopened.
- thirty-seven:: when the truth comes out.
- thirty-eight:: when you admit there's a problem.
- thirty-nine:: when you find a solution.
- forty:: when it's simply skin on skin.
- forty-one:: when you find stars in his eyes.
- forty-two:: when you hold your future in your hands.
- forty-three:: when you resemble an overly-emotional Clark Kent.
- forty-four:: when you go on an emotional rollercoaster.
- forty-five:: when he's finally frightened.
- forty-six:: when you give him space.
- forty-seven:: when no love is lost.
- forty-eight:: when you take a big step.
- forty-nine:: when he takes a bigger step.
- fifty:: when he's the one in need of saving.
- fifty-one:: when one end is a new beginning.
- fifty-two:: when sometimes you need self-closure.
- fifty-three:: when one door closed is another one opened.
- fifty-four:: when pauly met jules.
- epilouge:: when the future makes long-distance calls.
- sequel:: posted