The Secret Five #Wattys2016

Day 127-Trace

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"Yeah come sit down." she patted the bed and I sat down with her. "What's going on?"

"Cason told me about your mother and you fighting and how upset you are about it. Well, I have been thinking of my father and fighting with him and I feel really bad about it. I don't know if I should feel like this or not because, to be honest, I'm confused."

"I am upset about fighting with my mother. She is my mother and we fought about something so stupid, but, I know she will forgive me, I am her child, her daughter. Look, Trace, my mother went through a lot in her life and she sees stuff on little babies and I don't think she gets over seeing that stuff. She keeps everything in and the only way to get it out is to fight with me about something so stupid like having protected sex with Cason."

"Protected sex? And you got pregnant," he laughed.

"Okay, back home I wouldn't be pregnant right now. I'm only pregnant because I stopped my birth control and did it with Cason every day for two weeks. It was bound to happen at some point because we would have been doing it, a lot." He nodded. "Enough about me, it's you who came in here."

"I am just confused on how to deal with my mixed emotions. Everything is just so hard and I don't want to sound like I'm a baby when really I feel bad."

"You aren't sounding like a baby. Being stuck in this cabin is causing everyone to think about the past and deal with the emotions privately. You coming to me to talk about your emotions is brave. I'm going to be honest and say I'm depressed. I don't want to sit around and watch all of you work and I can't. It's difficult just sitting around."

"I'm sorry Lock."

"Don't be sorry." He nodded. "When we go back home, talk to your father about the fighting and how you don't want to fight anymore and have a relationship with him. Your father is a nice guy and yeah he works a lot, but he is always the first one there to help us, like when Armin died, he was the first one there and tried to help you, but you pushed him away or when in tenth grade we went to the city and missed our bus, he was the one who came down and picked us up. He was always there to help us."

I thought about all the times we were in trouble and she's right, he was always the first out of all our parents to help us and be there for us. The day Armin died and Coach Easton called 911, my father was there in a minute, and tried his best to calm me down. I was an asshole to him that day but my best friend, my brother, was bleeding to death and it wasn't fair. I let tears fall and sobbed.

"Trace, don't cry, please." Locklyn put her hand on my upper arm. I leaned in and hugged her. "Trace, come on, don't cry. I'll start crying also." She let tears fall also.

"Lock, don't you start." I sat up and laughed at her. she wiped her eyes and sighed. She soon touched her stomach and grinned. "How is it?"

"How is what?" she asked.

"Being pregnant. Is it annoying? You were really sick in the beginning and I am just wondering what it is like for you."

"It sucks because I can't move. I want to help you guys, but I can't because I want these babies alive and healthy. It's weird to me because I didn't think I could ever get pregnant. I don't know which uterus they are in and I think it's my right because I feel most of the kicking on that side. I have so many different emotions going on, I don't know if I'm happy or sad." I nodded. "When you get a girlfriend, and get her pregnant, you will know how it is. Cason is doing everything and I see him worrying for me. You will be like that also." I nodded once more.

"Thanks Lock, for talking to me and understanding my situation."

"Any time, Trace. That is why we're siblings."

"Siblings now?" I stood up from the bed and crossed my arms. "How did you come up with that?"

"It's true. We are all siblings. We have been best friends as a group for almost fifteen years and I see you as my brother and Hadley and Anya as my sisters. I saw Armin as my brother also and wish he is still here with us. We are brothers and sisters and will be like that for the rest of our lives."

"I like it. I see you as a sister and Cason as my brother. You guys are my family and it makes me feel better about the future. I will never be alone, no matter what." She nodded. "I'll let you rest. Thanks again Locklyn," she waved as I closed the door.

Knowing that she thinks of us as a family makes me happy and giddy inside. I don't have brothers or sisters when everyone else does and not until now that my brothers and sisters are right in front of me. They will always be here for me and I will be here for them. We are siblings and from now on we should call each other siblings.