I Want To Date My English Teacher

Can I Have Some More Please Sir?

Can I Have Some More Please Sir?

Lunchtime...

It's always so... difficult.

First of all, there's finding a place to sit. You need a decent sized table for you and your friends, all your school bags and your lunch. That’s a pretty mean feat anywhere, but in a public school it’s like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

But if you manage to accomplish this, and get sat down and comfortable, then there’s the task of finding food. Like a hungry wild beast you lurk around, looking for something decent to eat. In our school, we have a choice of three things.

There is the Traditional School Dinner, complete with soggy vegetables and a calorie loaded pudding. I always warn people to avoid it at all costs, because it’s not real food. I think it is plastic food they’ve soaked in hot water for a while until it’s become mushy. It’s over expensive, a total let down, and not at all what I would choose to eat.

The second option our school canteen offers us a range of sandwiches, which are usually appealing. I generally stick with a chicken sandwich, especially after the great ‘Ham Sandwich Food Poisoning Outbreak’ that claimed me in year seven. It may have been a long while ago, but it still haunts me and I haven’t touched school ham since.

The third choice is slightly more adventurous, something different every day. They sell sausage sandwiches and chip butties, things like that, enough to keep the student population fed, and they can’t complain that they’re bored with the food choices.

Today I settled on a sausage sandwich, because I felt mentally drained after spending my break with Mr Floyd earlier on. I needed the calories; hell I deserved the calories. It is already bad enough, having to put up with Mr Floyd in lessons, without extra time with him too.

I’m sitting with Tessa and Aria, and their friend Kate. I know Kate well enough, we’ve talked a couple of times, but I’m not as close to her as I am to Tessa and Aria on account of not being in many of Kate’s lessons.

We’re happily munching on our lunchtime snacks, when Tessa strikes up a conversation.

“What would you say if I said I was thinking of asking Ed out on a date?” She asks, chewing on a chunk of sausage sandwich because she decided to get the same as me.

“Like making the first move and asking him out?” I ask her, and she nods. Aria and I share a glance, and I swallow my lump of food. “I mean you could... but...”

“But what?” She wants to know

“You can’t ask him out! You have to manipulate him into asking you out! That’s how any successful relationship is formed!” Aria bursts out, and Tessa looks taken aback.

“A successful relationship is formed... by manipulation?” Tessa says slowly, clearly a bit confused by this.

“Of course, you have the power, but you have to make Ed think he has the power” I explain, and Tessa nods, taking another bite of sausage sandwich. I finish my own meal, and begin ripping up the polystyrene plate it came on.

“Exactly, that’s why I’m waiting for Wade to ask me out” Kate offers, and Tessa nods. It’s obvious she clearly has more understanding now, and I smile at her proudly.

“Don’t worry, he’s going to do it, he really likes you” I tell her with a shrug, because it is. Ed would be lucky to go out with a girl like Tessa, because for a start she’s very out of his league, even if she doesn’t realise this. I know he realises this.

Tessa also finishes her sandwich, and I hold my hand out for her plate “Pass me it here, I’ll take it to the bin for you. Anymore rubbish?” I ask, and Tessa and Aria shake their heads. Kate passes me a wrapper with a small smile, and I grin back at her, and climb out of my seat to go to the bin.