Story beginnings :)

Music is safety

"I love to read, it makes me calm. I like to do calming things when my heart and head are on over-drive. It helps me, so I don't feel weird. Drawing, or doodling helps me. Writing helps. Music especially helps. When I am calm, I feel at peace. When I am not at peace, I have a war. I want to be at peace forever, I don't want a war. People get hurt when they are at war. I don't want anyone to get hurt.

At school I feel different. Yes, I do have friends, but they rarely acknowledge me. They only do when I look "pretty" or when they need something. I feel lonely. It hurts. Why does it hurt?

At home I feel pressured, not loved. They say "get good grades!" And I do, but they say I can do better. Don't they see that I'm doing the best I can? But somehow, I always end up second place.

Food. I barely eat. No breakfast. No lunch. Only a small dinner. I'm still fat and ugly though. My mother teases me about it, then complains that we don't eat. I don't eat because I'm fat.

Always compared to people, and families better than us. Always expected to be that good. I'm trying my hardest.

Don't hurt me, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for all the bad I've done, I will try my best to do harder.

...I'm sorry..."

I stop writing, the tears have spilled out. "Oh, be quiet, people have it worse!" I tell myself. Sitting on my twin sized bed, I try to stop the tears. I'm overly sensitive. I over think. I close my notebook and put it under my pillow. I grab my phone and stare at the home screen for what seems a long time, my thumb hovering over the 'YouTube' app. My phone home screen picture was the 'future heart' cover. I love that album. It was -is the best album. Quickly, I press on it and type 'seven years Lukas Graham'. I love that song, along with all the songs from the 'future heart' album. I love Panic! At the Disco, Fall Out Boy...they understand...