So you want a Review (SYWAR)

*Review 17*

DannatoDestinato

OMG!! Finally!! I am back own!! I've missed me, have you guys missed me>.<

So I got requested to do a review for another story...two weeks ago~~~

YEAH!! I know. What took me so long?

Well I focused on my re-spons-iblities~~~!. (let's hope I spelled that right)

OKAY LE'GO!

Flimmered???Is that a word?

**DATA SCAN**

I'm going to assume the writer meant glimmered. Though this opening scene does have a few mistakes. (English isn't the first language of writer; therefore, I'm going to be lenient, and focus on the story)

Okay, classic wrong word used...or imbalances sentence format.

EXAMPLE:

A woman stood at the far end of the grave yard, out of sight from the small group of mourners, at the other end. In this exhaustive heat she was grateful for shelter given by the mighty oak she stood next to. The broad stretching shadow keeping her cool from the beating rays of the sun overhead.

That's just another way to write out that scene J

I like the opening, because you've dropped right into a character's head, so I'm curious about why she's there, and why she's so focused on the widow.

The second chapter is way better worded good job! And I like the name Catherine.

You don't need "Really" you've already stated it was a blur. The sentence. "The whole thing went by in a blur for Catherine." Has more impact, but when you add really...it somehow takes away from it.

*Funny little bit about the large chested drama queen. *

"She was angry. They were distracting her from her grief with their mockery of Jonathans funeral. In a small way, she felt thankful they gave her reason for her anger, otherwise she'd have nowhere to put it. The bitterness at Jonathans death would have no target. It was unfair, it was cruel. It infuriated her, but all she could do was silently weep in grief."

Extra unneeded words, unless you're writing conversation take away from the idea or message. Fripperies are not needed dear lady.

I like the unique flavor of this story, it's mature and not childish. The love has a naivety to it, but the character feels real.

I say this because it's not some untouchable grief or issue, it's real, and for relatable feeling of burying someone you care for. And with the mysterious person who opens the book, followed by the suspicious rage in Nathaniel's eyes, I'm intrigued oh and THE AUTHOR HASN'T SERVED ME EVERYTHING ON PLATTER, GO AUTHOR!!

Catherine is kind of annoying, not in a I-hate-her-way, but more in -she's-going-to-be-skeptical way.

It's the usual heroine who doesn't believe the one guy trying to help her, but it helps that there is some history that makes her not trust him. She's twenty-two, and I appreciate her acting her age.

The Nordic mythology, it kicks ass. I love stuff like this, so it pulled at my fan girl, when the writer started getting into the nitty gritty in chapter Three.

Though I kinda am more interested in discovering the world along with the main character, rather than having it explained in one fell swoop. I guess I'm more interested in the adventure.

So I got to chapter three...it's where I go when I wish to not ruin the story completely.

I like it.

It's different, and I'm (always) surprised not more people have glanced at it, but fantasy is definitely a hard arena to make champion in. And despite the character being 22 years old, the book still has a Teen fiction vibe, so I guess it's new adult fantasy.

The writer expressed to me, she's done everything short of sacrifice my goat to make sure her story flowed well. And kudos things were a little rocky in the beginning but later I was intrigued. So I would say there isn't anything wrong with the actual story.

I feel ashamed!

I don't have anything really bad to say....Ah, that is a point I know the character is grieving, but I feel the story was missing some POW. Something that made me want to curse, or comment...it's very chill....>.> I like it, but it's meh. I think she is a serious writer, because I've noticed that FFiction writers have action usual midway through the first chapter, or second. Most real book minded writers have action later like third or fourth chapter.

And give us up and downs before he gets to the fourth chapter to keep us tied to it. So something exciting, or a car blowing up would capture a reader's attention. (suggestion *wink*)

ANYWAY!!! THIS STORY, IS PERFECT FOR SOMEONE TRYING TO FIND A FANTASY STORY, THAT INVOLVES NORDIC MYTHOLOGY. It's perfect for a lazy afternoon, and you're not geeky enough for LOTR, or excited enough for Camelot. Should you only take my word for it....NOPE, NIEN, NICH, AND NO!

Go check it out, DREADING DESTINY!!

SYWAR OUT CHICKY!!