How Not To Fall In Love

Chapter 18: Reconnect

Vivian's hair is now golden brown that matches her now tanned-skin. She must've worked hard to pay for all the beautification process. She's still beautiful without these changes. 

"What do you like to have ma'am?" The bartender asked Vivian. "I'll have English toffee no whip and strawberry cheesecake." She said to the bartender while batting her lashes. Like she used to. She turned to me. "Whattya wanna have?" Another thing that has changed about her is her weird accent, something like Central. 

"Same old Mike and glazed doughnuts." I answered facing the bartender whom I recognized. Almost every day I went her in our favorite coffee shop and Mike is one of the changes after Vivian left here. She looked at me with grimace after ignoring her gaze since we met each other at the entrance of the shop. We were both on time. That is what I love about her – or used to love about her. We both know what we want and we directly get to the point. Except now I don't know what's running in her head when we used to talk everything about anything and everything. 

"Hey." She said, finally sitting down. She took off her white silky scarf. I can see her tan lines over her shoulder. "Hey." I said subtly. "So how's Prada and the Queen?" Did I say I used to love her? I think I did. This is one of the things I hate and she knows it so well. I used to say to her that when I work in Prada I will call the chief the Queen. That was way in college, when we were good friends. She knows I hate bringing up the past, especially not the past. "Let's get to the point. What do you want to say?" I say, ignoring her pious question. "Okay. I'm sorry." She looked at me and now I look her in the eyes, seeing through her soul.

"That's all I could ever say. For a start. Bee I know what I did was totally and really really really a frump move. It was way out of league to consider you any less than a best friend you are to me when all you ever did is be a best friend to me. I'm really really sorry bee." Her voice hitch as her eyes was filled with tears. I didn't say anything but continued to look at her. "I wasn't even thinking right the whole time before and during the abortion." She whispered the last part. "I wanted to tell you about Jeremy and about our thing, and the abortion, and all my crappy job interviews and douchebag boss. I want to tell you so much but I was so scared to tell you." I breathed in deep, composing myself as well. "Why?" I finally spoke. "Because I'm a mess with my relationships and you hate that crap. You don't do that crap." She broke down in tears. I glanced on the other tables who were wondering the events on out table. I stroke her shoulders too ease her. "I don't do crap, but I would do it if I had to for you. None of all these make sense Vi. I thought you trusted me enough that we were even best friends." I say, feeling a lump on my throat. "I'm sor – " She began to speak but I cut her holding up my hand. 

"No. Stop saying sorry and let me finish. I hear the side of your story now hear mine." She closed her mouth and looked down. "You know what, for three months I tried to communicate to you may not be regularly but I tried to reach out to you. But you what? You said nothing, not even a word for weeks after graduation when you took off. I thought we were good after a few days of randomly texting and chatting and Skyping. But later than that? I haven't heard from you, oh well except for your posts always on my news feeds. That's where I could really have news from you. I don't care whether you hit that Jeremy guy or that abortion thing. Honestly Vi, I only want honesty. Don't pull this 'because I'm a mess with my relationships and you hate that crap' card on me. You know what's the worst feeling? You even had a time to post pictures of where you travel and all those loads of crap but you don't have a spare time to at least tell me something, but you had the guts and the spare time for Tara and Cath." "Bee." She whined. "And one last thing. Don't assume of me and what I'm going to think, or what I think. If you were on my shoes how would you feel?" She did not answer. And neither do I felt so feeble to utter words. I think I said enough. 

We stayed silent and catch our breaths for a moment. And for what feels like forever our foods were served. We ate in silence and my coffee is fully consumed. I can't savor the sweetness of my doughnut with what I feel. Vivian avoided eye contact the whole eating time. I opened my phone to check the time. It's thirty past lunch time. Too early for me to go back in the office. 

I watch her finished her food and she straighten her back resting at the back of the chair. She looked at me with her soggy eyes. I did not flinch. "So what now?" I asked softly, recovering from my composure. She didn't say anything and just closed her eyes, like holding back her tears. She opened her eyes again, a bit clearer than it has before. "What are you up to back here?" I added. She stared down at her palms. She opened her mouth and looked at me but then closed it and looked down again. 

"Are you on vacation?" I ask again. She sighed and opened her mouth to answer, but no words went out. She rubbed her hands together and held them together. "I'm back here for good." She finally says. Now I'm flabbergasted. Tears rolled down her cheeks again, and all my anger at her subsided seeing the pain and hurt in her eyes. She really has gone through a lot more than I'll ever know. More than what I have even gone through. "Why? What happened?" She sobbed and it really feels so slightly inappropriate with the place. "Trust me, you don't wanna know." She said. "I trust you but I want to know. Tell me about it but not in here." She wiped her tears and stood up to hug her. She hugged back. "I'm really sorry Lil. I really am." "Apology accepted." I rub her back and release her.

I made a few phone calls. First to Miss Sanchez, saying I will take a half day which displeased her and said that she needs me first thing in the morning tomorrow for the finalization of our costing and other advertising stuff. Next is Gab, saying that I'll pass their night out. And Ashton, asking if he left the apartment. I totally have forgotten to left him my spare key. Which is a good thing partly that he hadn't left the house, yet. I don't have resolved the case just yet but on the other hand there'll be a lot of explaining to the girl beside me. Plus we don't have the room on our own. Tragic, especially for a girls rescue day mission.