Come Inside

XIII

Jacob groaned. "I don't want to be possessive over you. But I am telling you my sorry now because when you become mine, you are mine alone. No man shall ever touch you or try to wrap their arms around your shoulders. Even your smile will be prohibited. I fell in love with that smile and I don't want anyone to fall for that, too."

Elaine was speechless but she smiled at him. And when she smiled a tear dropped from her right eye. Without thinking, she threw herself toward him then hugged him like her life only depended on him.

ELAINE cried. It's as if she absorbed everything Kael had said. She thinks she became desperate, just like what he had said. She was so desperate to get away from everything that tires her, everything that destroys her. Is it bad to runaway? She just wanted to become strong. She was so naïve, so weak for letting Royce Jacob touch her again. She let him. It was a damn mistake.

She wiped her own tears as she stood up. Inayos niya ang kanyang buhok at huminga ng malalim. She can't hide her sobs. She can't pretend she didn't cry because she knew it was damn evident because of her puffy eyes. Pinasadahan niya ng kanyang kamay ang carnation dress na suot niya. It matched her black pumps.

After Kael told her she's gone desperate, he walked out. He was also shocked of what he had said. It was like he didn't expect he can say those words to her at all. But he did. And now she realized how low she went. She realized one thing: you can't push people on doing what they don't want to do.

Heaving a deep sigh, she went to escape. She can't handle the same person who made her feel like an idiot. She just can't face Kael again or else she'll be ashamed of herself again. She doesn't want to feel that. Nobody wants to be embarrassed.

She took out her phone in her bag to check on Camille. Gusto niya munang mayroong maka-usap. Gusto niyang matauhan pa lalo. Gutso niyang makalimot kaya aayain niya ito kung saan. She instantly wished Camille would join her in her crazy idea.

Her phone beeped. She received a message from Maximus.

May gig kami ngayon sa Bar Rocks, wanna come? Kinukulit kasi ako ni Camille, she's right here now.

Elaine smiled to herself. Thanks, Camille.

Pagkadating ni Elaine sa Bar Rocks ay maraming tao ang naroon. She couldn't locate her best friend but she can see Maximus singing on the stage with his band. Hindi niya alam kung anong kanta ang tinutugtog nila ngunit napakasarap iyong pakinggan.

"For all the things my hands have held, the best by far is you. If I could fly, then I would know what life looks like from up above and down below..."

She was dawned by its lyrics. Napapikit siya kasabay ng paglakad niya tungo sa bar counter kung saan mayroon isang bakanteng high chair. She was walking so slow yet she bumped on someone making her eyes pop open.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry!" Bulalas niya nang tumalungko siya upang alalayang tumayo ang napaupong babae.

Pumalatak ito na tila nainis sa nangyari so she expected she would be fumed but instead the lady said it's okay. And when the lady turned to look at her, recognition struck both of them.

"Brooke?"

"Oh my gosh, Elaine Veronica!" Brooke screamed as she pulled her for a tight hug. Brooke is one of her college friends. Elaine met her because Brooke was in Jacob's circle of friends. And when Brooke met Camille, they instantly became a trio. "May balak ka pa palang magpakita sa amin ni Camille! Akala ko forever ka nang magmumukmok sa America sa pang-iiwan mo."

Elaine's forehead automatically creased because of the sudden change of music. It suddenly became pop rock. People jumped in joy at the dancefloor because it's the type of music they want to hear so they could dance their own problems off. Inikot niya ang kanyang paningin dahil hindi naman na niya naririnig ang sinasabi ni Brooke.

Napasinghap na lamang siya nang bigla siyang higitin ni Brooke palabas ng bar mabuti na lamang ay maraming bakanteng lamesa sa labas.  Brooke motioned her to sit down as she went back inside the bar for she doesn't know what reason, but she sat anyway. Ayaw naman niya kasi ng tugtog sa loob ng bar na iyon.

Brooke came back with two cocktail drinks in both of her hands. She handed me one and she took a sip on hers. Brooke sat on the chair opposite to her.

"How many years has it been? 5 years. Kumusta ka?"

"Okay lang ako..." Elaine trailed off as she caught a familiar figure holding a drunk girl on his arms. She didn't even realized she was staring at him for too long Brooke even looked at the direction she was looking.

"Jacob," Brooke muttered.

"Okay lang ako, Brooke. Ayos lang sa akin. Tapos naman na kami, 'di ba? It's been 5 years since. I'll get by."

"You'll get by? So, you haven't moved on yet?"

"I don't think I can. Everything was so fresh to me, so new. I think it needs time to be healed completely. Lalo na't nalaman ko na si Jacob at si Raicca ay may —"

"Alam mo na pala." Brooke took another sip of her cocktail.

"Paano mo nalaman?"

Brooke smiled at her then answered, "Raicca. Sinabi niya sa akin ang lahat ilang linggo pagkatapos mong umalis. I don't know the exact reason why she said everything to me but one thing's for sure: Jacob was so devastated after you left. I think she blamed herself why you two broke up."

"She blamed herself? Ni hindi ko nga alam na fuck buddies sila noon. Kaaalam ko lang no'ng huli kaming nagkita ni Jacob." And then she remembered all of the things he had said. And she's hurting all over again. It stung her all over again making her wish to become damn numb.

"So, you two talked already?" Sambit nito na tila hindi na ito nagulat. "Royce Jacob really moves fast, huh? Just as before when he first saw you watching him on the field. Kapag tumitingin siya sa gawi mo, natitiyempuhan lagi na hindi ka nakatingin sa kanya but I saw how you stare at him when he was in a game."

So, Brooke noticed those stares, huh? But who wouldn't, maski nga patagong tingin niya kay Jacob noon ay napapansin ni Camille. She was so obvious. Iyon ang oras na kinailangan nila mag-survey para sa research paper na requirement nila sa isang subject.

But she didn't want to talk about Jacob because it makes her eyes wet. She blinked so many times to stop the formation of her tears in her eyes. She doesn't want to cry over him anymore. She should move on.

"Why are we talking about him? We shouldn't be. I'm marrying Kael now. We're engaged now." Elaine changed the topic.

"Maitutuloy ang plano ng parents mo, huh? Why? I mean, I know it's rude to question your decision — or not — is, but I want to know why. I know you had a thing for him, according to what you've said to me years ago, but isn't it bad to marry someone you don't love anymore? Hindi ka ba napipilitan?" Elaine watched Brooke as her friend ran her fingers through her brunette hair, her eyebrows almost touching each other.

"Bakit ba iisa lang ang tanong niyo sa akin? Will everyone just be happy for what I will do? Gusto ko naman siyang pakasalan niya. It's nothing like I'm being forced. I want this."

"I am happy for you, Elaine. Masaya ako na kaya mong gumawa ng desisyon na hindi para sa iba. But I want you to he happy. I wish you happiness."

"Is it hard to believe I will be happy with this? I will be. I believe I can be."

Just after Elaine talked, her phone rang. She thought it was Camille so she answered it it immediately little did she know it was a man she surely know.

"Where are you?" It was her father's voice. She felt her whole body tensed. "You need to get back here. Your mother has been asking for you but Kael told her you left. She's mad. She want you back here right now."

"Bakit, dad? Kael and I are finished talking so I thought I should go out."

"Kael backed out. He doesn't want to do marry you." He said.