17th Chappie

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I couldn’t hide the nerves that were bubbling under the surface. I had goosebumps breaking out across my skin. I now stood in front of him, there was a distance between us, both physically and mentally but it was as close as I could handle at that moment. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. My words had vanished at the sight of him again. His picture definitely did not do him justice. He was dressed in dark jeans, a black tee, army-coloured jacket and a silver chain hung low around his neck. His eyes held no warmth like they once did when he looked at me. I couldn’t blame him but I was also disappointed.

“Should I say congratulations to the re-engaged Mrs Cummins?” He snapped sarcastically. His words whiplashed me in the face like a physical sting. I knew he would be pissed at me but I wasn’t prepared for the hostile tone. “If you have nothing more to say, have a nice life.” He turned to leave then, his back to me. I couldn’t let that happen.

“I think I’m in love with you!” I screamed. Alex froze to the spot and slowly faced me again.

“What did you say?”

“I love the fact that you were at my failed wedding and that you were there with me on what was supposed to be the best day of my life. I love that I really met you at a random pub somewhere between Brisbane and Sydney. I love that you kissed me in the ocean and made me feel beautiful. You made me realise that I was going to be ok. I know you didn’t think I needed to face Richard but I did. I needed that part of my life to close. I needed the time away from you to force me to notice how much I missed you. And I hated when you were flirting with those other girls because of a dumb bet. I hate how jealous I am around you. You make me crazy; I want to scream at you for making me feel this way but at the same time I want to kiss you until my lips are sore. I’ve never felt like this before and it’s all because of you. You have completely undone all my defences. I’m naked in front of you!” I let out a ragged breath. The words had come at an unstoppable speed but at least they had been said. His mouth parted slightly and I hoped he was going to say something but no sound came. I had lost my chance. I had ruined my one opportunity for a happy life. I had fallen in love with Alex and I had already pushed him away too far.

I started to feel incredibly self-conscious as I finally noticed the bystanders. They were pretending to walk passed but I could tell they were listening intensely to our exchange. I couldn’t blame them. Here I was a woman newly single; pouring her heart out to a man she had already lost. I flicked my eyes over to the audience and they all shifted suddenly to appear as if they hadn’t been eavesdropping on my every word.

“Well I guess that’s all that needs to be said. If you have nothing to say, I’ll go now.” I mumbled. I dropped my gaze to my feet and made a motion to move away. A pair of warm hands wrapped around my forearms and held me firmly in place. The calendar fell from my hands in surprise.

“Just give me a minute, ok?” Alex rasped.

“I hope you don’t take offence to this but I kind of just laid myself bare for you in a public park with an audience. Forgive me for not wanting to wait around for your rejection.” I said.

“God! You are so frustrating!” He growled.

I’m the frustrating one? I told you exactly how I feel and that makes me frustrating? What about you? You haven’t even said-” The rest of retort was muffled as his lips claimed mine. It was a moment I was definitely never going to forget. My nerves and inner voice cheered from the feel of him. I wanted to touch him, search every part of him and tell him over again that I was wrong for everything. He still had my arms pinned securely to my sides so I could only explore with my mouth. I gasped in delight as his tongue invaded my mouth and twisted with mine. I had missed him, oh god, how I had missed him. He broke the kiss too soon and I yelped in disappointment.

“Hold on girly, I haven’t said my piece yet. Although you giving me that face is making me reconsider speaking...” He smirked. That arrogant smirk I had grown to adore shone down on me. I held my breath and nodded gently. His grip on my arms loosened until it was possible for me to run away if I wanted to. It scared me how much I didn’t want to leave his arms. “You confuse the hell out of me, you know? One minute I was a happy bachelor doing a favour for my hung-over brother and the next I was watching the most beautiful sight walk down the altar. That wasn’t the first time we met, just to set the record straight. It was your engagement party, there were so many people there, I’m not surprised you didn’t see me. I saw you though. I watched you and listened to your laugh. Every moment in your presence made me question my single-life. So when Craig decided to get smashed the night before your wedding I thought it was fate’s cruel game making me watch you get married. What I didn’t expect was to be given a second chance at a little pub with the woman of my dreams ordering a ridiculously large lunch.” He smiled as a small giggle left my lips. Bloody Mads, she always had such an appetite.  I was going to have to thank her for that next time.

I waited patiently for him to continue. To think he had known me for longer than I realised was a scary idea but also made me hopefully for what he was going to say next.

“There’s something between us, Kay. That we both know and now I’m beginning to realise I can’t live without. And I hated the fact that you thought you had to face Richard alone. I wanted to be there with you, standing by your side. I thought you pushed me away because you still had some feelings for him...Now I know that I was wrong. I love the fact that I make you crazy because you leave me senseless. I’m nothing without you. So yeah, I think I love you too.” Alex whispered softly. A giant grin spread across my face at the words. The impact of his words hit home and made my heart squeeze tightly. “Kay?” I looked up at him from under heavy eyelids. He wiped a single tear away from my cheek that I hadn’t even noticed I had shed. “Can I kiss you now?”

“You’ve never asked permission before.” I smiled. He seemed to blush lightly and wrapped me in his arms, my head tucked under his chin.

“I’ve never had anyone tell me that they love me before, I’m getting nervous now.” He chuckled, his breath tangling in my hair.

“Oh good.” I said. He held me a little out to raise an eyebrow at me. “I didn’t want to be the only one with frazzled nerves.”

“Frazzled? Who even says that anymore?” He teased. I didn’t bother commenting. I pulled down on the collar of his jacket and brought his lips to my level. Just before our lips touched I moved away an inch. “Hey!” He protested.

“You still want to tease my choice of vocabulary?” I giggled.

“Yep, always.” He smiled before closing the distance between us. Always. I liked the way that sounded. Loud and continuous car horn beeps broke our kiss and made us turn to see Mads with her head stuck out the window of her car.

“Finally!” She waved enthusiastically. “Are you guys going to keep being adorable all the way over there? God! I need more popcorn!” Alex and I both broke into a fit of laughter as we made a motion to move. I felt something beneath my foot and a deep red blush heated my cheeks when I discovered what it is.

“Isn’t that my calendar?” Alex continued to chuckle as he bent down to gather the item in his hand. “Oh darlin’, did you miss me that much?”

“I wasn’t sure if it was the last piece I would ever have of you.” I replied. “You do look rather possessive in the photo.” He pulled me near and dripped his head down to be in level with my ear.

“Girly, you have no idea.” The silent but you will sent a shiver of anticipation slithering up my spine of what was to come. He had left the end of that sentence for my imagination but I was beginning to think that if his kisses left me in such a mess, everything else was going to be better than ecstasy. I snuggled under his arm as we walked back to Mads. This was where I truly belonged. 

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