Typical {H.S}

Chapter 41

"You said that the thought of losing me hurts. But you moving - it will result in that," is all I say.

"So move with me Via, please. You don't have a job at the moment, you're not at a university and you said you loved it in England," he suggests with such hope. "If you don't come, the only thing missing will be you. I want you there with me."

"Harry I don't think I can do that," I look away from him. Shit I can't believe he actually wants to move and have me come with him. This is just too much.

"Via please, come with me. I love you so damn much and I just want you living with me in England so bad." He sounds so desperate. I love him to bits, but to leave my country so quickly when I'm only twenty-two? I don't think I could mentally do it.

"I have Niall here Harry. I have Danielle and the other boys, there's Brodie and Molly. I love Sydney, I can't throw things away as easy as you can Harry. You chose to move to Australia in the first place," my voice comes out harsher than I intended. "And us," I pull myself completely out of his grasp, now sitting cross legged facing towards him. "Why are you so willing to throw away what we have?"

"I'm not. That's why I want you to come with me so bad. Fuck I don't want to lose you," his face scrunches in emphasis as he looks at me intently.

"Then don't go back to England Harry. I don't even know why you want to move!" I need to calm down, but I'm so overwhelmed that my nightmares are coming true. I didn't actually think he'd move, I thought it was just my overreacting brain doing it's job.

"What would happen to us if I move and you don't come with me?" His voice falls incredibly serious and nervous.

"I already told you, I don't think there could be an us. You'd lose me," I whimper, trying to hold back tears.

We've been dating for almost three months now but we've been such close friends for about nine months all up, it won't be easy letting go.

"But what about long distance, we've done it before. Why wouldn't it work now?" Harry replies quickly, as if he was in a hurry. I can't explain his facial expression, he kind of looks like a lost hope. It hurt to see.

"Because I knew you'd come back to me after four weeks. I got to look forward to being able to hug you, cuddle you, have intimate moments with you again. Be able to talk face to face, not just on FaceTime anymore, I knew we'd be able to go places together again and not just talk about it over the phone. But that won't happen this time, you won't be able to come back and do all those things." I can't believe I'm actually having this conversation. I get myself up from the lounge and just stand there. I don't know what to do. I'm stressed out.

"But I'll visit Via, I promise," he stands up too and joins me, our proximity is now minimal.

I look at him intently. "What? Once every four to five months? That's not enough Harry. Not enough to hold a relationship." Our noses are now brushing against each other's.

He holds my face in his hands and leans his forehead onto mine. "I don't want to lose you," he whispers to my lips.

"Then don't leave," I stress to him. "Stay here. Make things happen here, go searching again, try meet new people. It's like every time you give up you straight away blame the environment, not you." He doesn't respond, he just stays in that position. I can feel and hear heavy breaths. "I will happily stay friends with you, but I can't do a relationship. It would be so hard."

"You know I won't be able to do just friends. Do you know how much of a tease that would be? Just being friends with the person you love?" Harry moves himself away from me just slightly, gliding his hands down from my cheeks and down my arms until he reaches my hands to clasp them with his.

He's almost making me feel guilty but I can't let that happen. Does he know how hard it is that the person you're in love with is willing to move away from you?

I take another step back from him, but still keeping our hands in tact. "I can't change my whole world for you Harry. I'm not moving to England with you. I'm sorry," I let out a whimper. I let go of his hands to cover my face while I begin to sob. I was so close to keeping those tears in but no, I had to break.

I hate feeling like this. I love Harry so much, but I would feel so insecure and tired of doing a long distance relationship. I couldn't do it to myself. He's easily the most gorgeous man I've laid eyes on and possibly the sweetest one I have ever met. Women could easily be throwing themselves at him but I wouldn't know.

Before I know it, Harry is walking closer to me again, hugging me close to his naked chest, trying to make me feel better.

"I just can't stay here Via," he whispers as he kisses the top of my head. He does that a lot when he's cuddling me or comforting me. He knows I love it.

"I understand that Harry, but you have to understand why I can't leave with you," I look up at him as I still lean into his chest, he has a single tear streaming down his cheek. I lift up my hand and wipe it away delicately, then I lean up and kiss his lips gently. "When are you planning on leaving?" I reluctantly ask him. I don't even know if I want to know the answer.

"Today is the twentieth of October yea?"

"Sure is."

"I'm leaving on the first of November, so ten days. It'll be easier for me doing it sooner than later." Stab, right in the chest, reality hits me one more time. I just nod in reply. Harry removes my right arm from around his waist, holding it in his hand as his eyes scan along my wrist. "You're still wearing that bracelet I got you?" His smile is priceless.

"That I am. I haven't taken it off since I found it in my suitcase that day," I reply proudly. For something so delicate, it's quite strong so there's no need for me to take it off.

He leans down, kissing me with full passion and need. I place my hand onto his face, feeling his prominent jawline. Damn what a sight that would be. He very gently but in a needing manner, pulls on my bottom lip with his teeth as he pulls away slightly.

"Never take it off," he murmurs with a raspy, lust ridden voice. His actions are making it that much harder for me to let him go.