Chocolate

April 16th

Staring down at the worn out book on my desk that was set there by my grandmother earlier this morning when I slept. The title made me smile from ear-to-ear. Their Eyes Was Watching God; the words popped out on the cover. When I would visit during the summer, I would always sneak this book out of my grandmother's room to read it every time I'm bored or just want to read. I literally love this book.

Unusually, every time I read it I always think of myself. Some how I knew my life would be kinda like the main character Janie in this book. A woman who only wants love and happiness, so she falls for men so easily. Her first husband was a fifty year old man her grandmother forced her to marry, of course she left him for a young smooth talker. The young guy verbally abused her; it's sad how that kinda relates. Then her last husband stole her money. I've experienced one relationship where a guy was using me for my money, I didn't find out until I received a large bill in the mail.

My friends are right, I fall in love too easily. But what do you expect for a woman that scared to live alone, to not have a significant other by her side. I watched as my mother lived alone with only two kids she loved. Some day's she'll say she doesn't need a man to be happy, but on most days she's down and needs someone other than her kids to hold. But until this day, she still goes through the pattern and I'm scared of that.

"T, come with me to the market." Chris walked into my room, kicking me out of my emotional trance.

I quickly wiped my tears away before turning away from the book. "Okay, just give me a minute."

Chris was kinda taken back from my response. Usually I would put up a fight, but what's the point anymore; I'm too old to be arguing with my brother for no reason. "Okay," he dragged out the o as he exits my room. After few seconds, he popped his head in the door way. "Nice bear by the way."

"Thanks," I gave him a small smile.

Chris once again disappeared. I walked towards my made up bed that held the life size teddy bear that I now cuddle with, thanks to Dylan.

*****

"What do we need?" I asked as Chris pushed the cart next to me down the isle. My hand was currently rubbing my stomach, since it felt good to do. It was soothing.

"Umm, milk for one. Lean steak, chicken, iceberg salad, tea packets, sack of lemons, fresh broccoli, Granny Smith apples, cinnamon and the pie sheets." Chris said while putting a bag of chips in the cart.

"I didn't hear chips on that list," I stated while giving him the eye.

He kissed his teeth and put the chips back. "Let's just split up and get the food. You take the cart and get the apples and other stuff, while I go to produce."

We quickly switched places, I set my purse in the cart and pushed it out the isle, turning in a different direction from Chris. As I walked through the grocery store, I immediately spotted the sack of lemons stacked on top of each other. I parked the cart in front of the shelf full of cookies so it can be out of the way, before making my way to the table.

"Woah, don't tell me you was about to pick that up," a man I've never seen before came to my aid by easily picking up the sack of lemons and putting is into my cart. He was a older gentleman, maybe about sixty of fifty; basically old enough to be my father.

I walked towards him with a friendly smile. "Thank you sir."

"No problem young lady, I just didn't want to see you struggle especially when you're expecting a child." From the way he speaks and greets me with a smile, I knew he was old fashion but I also knew he wasn't from the south either.