My Racist(completed)..undergoing some editing

chapter 32

I love you more, now than I ever did before.
                                     -Anonymous.

Selami.

"Don't say that."Charlotte cautioned as she wiped my tears and handed me another tissue to blow my nose.

"He....is.....still...a...beast."I repeated again.I could never forget the way he looked at me with...with...disgust.I looked down at my outfit ,it had cost me  alot,almost one thousand grand and all he could do was push me away when I started advancing towards him.

"Isn't that the black girl."Someone whispered from the crowd but I couldn't see their faces, my vision was beginning to blur with tears.I felt Charlottes hand wrap around my shoulder as she led me out from the hallway and into the toilet.

"Shh...it is okay."She said calmly but she was wrong.Nothing was okay and it would never be okay.

"Sel."She snapped.

"Yes."I answered trying my best to hide my weakness but from the sound which escaped my lips,I knew I had already failed.

"Should I take you home?"She asked.

Home?Where was home?.My dad was nowhere to be found and Derek...Derek would never be home,I should have known that three months ago when I agreed to this stupid contract.

"You are really scaring the shit out of me."She snapped again,trying as hard as she could to remove me from my depression.

"Am okay."I forced a smile,maybe If I didn't act broken then I would not be."You have to go for classes."I said handing her bag which was resting on the wall.

"Sel...I would never leave you."She promised as she struck my hair.

That was also what Derek had said whenever I slept in his arms.

After a long and argumentative conversation,Charlotte had finally agreed to go for classes."But I will check up on you."She flashed me a small smile as she headed for the door."And Sel,try not to dip your head into the toilet."

I threw a roll of tissue at her which she dodged and smirked before locking the toilet door.

All I need was to be alone.

Some girls banged on the toilet door so hard that I taught it would finally break down but they all got tired at some point and left.I cried and wept and sobbed till there was nothing left in me but emptiness.

Charlotte checked on me as promised and handed me a sandwich,I was literally starving to death,she watched knowingly as I ate sandwich till nothing was left.

"I will be leaving early."She interjected as I wiped my mouth.

"Okay."I nodded.As much as I wanted her to stay,She had her mum to attend to.

"Call me if you need anything at al......."

"I will take it from here."I cut in,shooing her out of the wash room.

I waited an hour more for everyone to clear out and when the school was soundless I stood up and unzipped my shoes,placing them on the toilet sink as I adjusted my curly hair to a tight pony tail.I took a quick look at the mirror and rinsed my face free from my dripping mascara and smudged lipstick,when I was sure there was nothing left I took a shaky step out of the washroom and quietly closed the door behind me.

The whole school was empty,not even the janitors were around.I took fast steps to the exit door having the feeling of being followed and heaved a sigh of relief as I gripped the handle about jerk it open until I heard a voice.