Only You (Previously "Finding Myself")

Chapter 6

***********Liam’s POV*************

"I need you Li." Louis falls into my arms. I rub his tense back as his tears wet my shoulder. I may be in love with him, but I sure do feel bad about this whole thing. Louis and Eleanor were a great couple. I’m really curious as to why they ended things, they seemed to be doing so well!

Well, I guess not.

I bring him over to my bed so I can give my crying best friend a proper cuddle. We sit there, backs against the headboard of my bed, without talking for about ten minutes before Louis breaks the silence.

"Liam," his voice is weak “cou-could you sing for me?"

"Of course." I think I have the perfect song, Bloom by The Paper Kites. I hope He likes it

[A/N: Link on the right]

I close my eyes before the words exit my mouth.

In the morning when I wake

And the sun is coming through,

Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness,

And you fill my head with you.

Shall I write it in a letter?

Shall I try to get it down?

Oh, you fill my head with pieces

Of a song I can’t get out.

Can I be close to you?

Ooh-oo-oo-ooh, ooh

Can I be close to you?

Ooh, ooh.

His body shifts a little. I get scared that he wants me to stop so I do.

"Liam why’d you stop? please keep going…" 

Can I take it to a morning

Where the fields are painted gold

And the trees are filled with memories

Of the feelings never told?

When the evening pulls the sun down,

And the day is almost through,

Oh, the whole world it is sleeping,

But my world is you.

Can I be close to you?

 ooh , ooh.

Can I be close to you?

ooh , ooh.

Can I be close to you?

ooh, ooh.

Can I be close to you?

ooh, ooh.

Can I be close to you?

Ooh, ooh.

As I end the song, I look down to see a tired brunette boy."Lou, get some sleep," I whisper “you need it."

"Okay," he snuggles close to my chest “I love you Liam. Thank you for the song." If only he know how much it connected with my feelings towards him.

"I love you too Louis, get some rest now." But this time when I say those words, the meaning is much stronger. Because I don’t just love him.

I’m in love with him.

————————————————————————————————

"Liam, I-um…" I wake up from my light sleep to see Harry standing next to my bed. “I’m gonna go bunk with Niall, you guys look like you need to be alone… and Niall’s drunk as hell so I can’t trust him alone. See you in the morning yeah?" He winks at me and walks out of our room.

I feel a heavy weight on my chest to see Louis sound asleep. Yeah, it’s uncomfortable, but it’s Louis so I don’t mind staying like this. 

I place my hand on his hair gently and start playing with the fringe that has fallen onto his eyes. I brush it out of his face and stare at his breathtaking features. I love the way his pink lips slightly curve up and how his nose kind of twitches. I love the way he holds onto me tightly as he sleeps. I love how warm he is and how his warm breath hits my bare chest. I love everything about him.

Louis starts moving and lifts up his head. The space his head previously occupied feels cold. His blue eyes are open slightly. Well they aren’t exactly blue. They’re pools of gray and turquoise. We stay in this position, looking at each other for about ten seconds. I wouldn’t say this is an awkward silence. No, it’s the comfortable kind.

"You alright?" It may have only been a whisper, but it sounds so much louder in the silence of the night.

"Yeah I’m alright. I mean, I’ve been better… but I’m alright. You made it alright. Thank you." His words warm my heart and I can feel my cheeks start to burn. I want to tell him, I really do. But I can’t. Not after the events that occurred only a few hours earlier.

"Well I’m glad I could help. Do you wanna talk about it?" He shakes his head and the fringe falls back into his eyes. I dare to move my hand up and push the loose strands out of his face. The room is dimly lit but I can see the small smile that is starting to form on his lips. Did I cause that? Wow. There must be butterflies living in my stomach because I’ve been feeling them fluttering a lot lately.

"Liam, I’m sorry about what happened that night in the dressing room," I start to feel like I can’t breathe. This is the last thing I want to think about. “and I wish I could tell you what really happened. I really do. But I made a promise not to. Niall wants to be the one to tell you. I’m just really, really sorry." Somewhere in between his words, Louis placed his hand on my forearm and started holding on tightly. “Do you think we can start acting like we used to? I’d hate to lose someone that I’ve grown so close to. I hate the silence. It’s been literally killing me." I can tell that he’s looking at me but I can’t bare looking into his eyes. Of course I want things to go back to normal! But with all that’s happened, I’m not really sure.

I stay like this, not looking at him for about a minute before he places his hand on my cheek.

"Liam please. I need you in my life." I can hear the pain in his voice. "Please."

Who am I kidding? I can’t reject Louis. Our friendship means too much to me. And so does Niall’s. I need them both in my life. There is no other way.

I look up at the boy who is now almost in tears again. I nod my head, looking him in the eyes. 

"You could never lose me Louis." And the words I speak are true. I don’t think anything in this world would make me want to let him go. I try to think of something that could, but my mind is blank.

Nothing.

And that makes my straight lips turn into a small smile. Louis breathes out in relief before pulling me into a tight hug and kissing my cheek. I’m telling you, butt-er-flies. We both climb under the covers and go to sleep.

If only he knew.