Only You (Previously "Finding Myself")

Chapter 4

*******Liam's POV******

Anger, shock, embarrassment, confusin, pain. That's what i feel. 

Anger because neither of them told me they liked eachother. I mean yeah, I didn't tell them about me, but that's because I just found out for myself about two days ago.

Shock and embarrasment because holy shit I just walked in on my two best friends making out.

Cunfusion because Louis is dating El? Well I thought he was.

Pain. Why did this hurt? Because the boy I like was kissing my best friend, and if i didn't have a chance before, then I definetly don't have one now.

Saying that they were shocked when they saw me is an understatement.

All I could do was walk away.

I've been sitting in my hotel room, face in my pillow, for over an hour. I should probably go eat something.

I get up and off of my bed. Before I leave my room, I take a look at myself in the mirror. I haven't been crying, but I look like a mess. There is an imprint of my pillow on my cheeks, my hair is a mess, and my eyes look tired. Well, I am tired. I'm emotionally drained and I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep forever. But I have fans and a band. I have to be healthy for them.

I make my way to the kitchen and grab a protein bar and a cup of water. I chew slowly but when I'm done, I drink all of my water in one go. 

I walk out into the main room because it's what seperates me from my comfy bed. To my suprise I find Louis on the sofa with his face in his hands. He's probably contemplating how to tell me everything about their relationship, but that's the last thing I want to hear. I start walking, hoping to keep quiet so he doesn't notice me. I'm almost to my room, just a few more steps now.

"Liam," crap! "could you come here please, I need to talk to you."

I turn slowly to be met by two blue eyes that are now boring into mine.

"Liam, I want to explain myself." Sadly Louis, I don't want to hear it.

"No, what I saw explained itself. I'm totally fine with it. In fact I'm sorry that I interupted you," his face carries a shocked expresion. "I'm gonna go take a shower"

And with that said, I walk to the bathroom and lock the door behind me. All I want is to be alone.

I go to the shower and turn it on. While it warms up I strip out of my clothes. Before I walk into the warm water, I take a look at my reflection. "How could he like you anyway," I whisper to myself "you're hideous and barely a man. Atleast men can tell the person they like how they feel." 

The shower is really hot, but it masks the pain I'm feeling inside. Why am I even this upset? It's nothing more than a crush, well that's what I think. It can't be love. I mean I love him as a friend, but how can I be in love with him?

It doesn't even matter anymore.

I don't wash my hair or body tonight. 

All I do is quietly sob as I let the tears spill from my eyes.

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A/N: ayo

sorry that was short but i liked the way it ended

leaving you sad.

jk but it really sucks to have a sad liam amiright?

thanks for reading!

(lets try for 2 comments and 2 votes this time! :)

-molly