Dirge of Hell | Greek Mythology

23 Ministers

In the Athenian marriage scroll, there was a little detail that Hades missed that two gods didn't (something about the people closest to the groom standing before the door and guarding the room to prevent the bride from escaping). These two gods tiptoed down the hall, a mischievous, knowing look etched on their faces. Like a pair of thieves in the night, the two dodged behind columns and signaled each other when the coast was clear. Finally they reached their destination: Hades' room. There was no way they were going to miss an event such as the graduation of a 'boy' to a man (no matter how old that 'boy' may be).

With a couple of hand signals and a curt nod, both of them quietly, sneakily laid their ears flush against the door. They stayed like that for about thirty minutes before one of them complained.

"It's too quiet!" Tartarus hissed. 

Erebus quickly raised a finger against his lips and silently mouthed, 'I know'.

They continued their conversation through telepathy.

'I'm not hearing any action!' Tartarus groused.

'It is rather disappointing.' Erebus agreed.

'What could they be doing inside? …By the Fates they're not just talking are they?!'

'I don't know. I dare not use my powers to spy directly on them. That would be quite rude.'

'Hold on. Wait a minute. Damn it! We're both idiots!' Tartarus' face contorted to a scowl.

'Why? What is it?' Erebus raised an eyebrow.

'Those two people inside. They're both virgins!'

'So?'

The other god just simply gave him a look.

'Oh gods.' Erebus' face changed to horror when the concept dawned on him. 'They're both virgins. B-but surely my son is not that…incompetent.'

'With that love in-denial, inexperienced work maniac, what do you expect?' Tartarus rolled his eyes. 'I don't even know if he knows of the existence of sensual pleasure. I bet you they're just staring at each other – blankly.'

Erebus fell in deep thought, evaluating the truth in that statement and came with a conclusion. 'If what you're saying is true then this is too tragic!' 

'Dammit!' Tartarus had the sudden urge to punch something and settled on stomping on his counterpart's foot.

Erebus muffled a shriek of pain and clutched his abused foot. 'Ow! What was that for?!'

'Because I enjoy your pain. Besides it's your job as the father to educate him in such matters, idiot! Shame on you! For someone with hundreds of children, you haven't even thought of educating Aidon!'

'For someone who lived for more than a thousand years, I thought Aidon already knew!'

They stared at each other for a minute then hung their heads at the same time.

'This is too tragic!' They both thought at the same time.

"Tartarus? Erebus?" an extremely familiar high-pitched voice sounded from behind them. "Are you spying on Aidon's wedding night, dears?"

They both slowly turned around and saw her, the mother who spawned most of the Universe's horrors, smiling creepily at them. Her eyes depicting a multitude of sinister thoughts which could turn into a multitude of sinister realities. From the looks of it, she was there to dish out those realities at them specifically. Oh no. She was angry for real. They needed to distract her! Quickly!