Could Have Had It All

It Hurts

Liv's Point of View
When Holden said that he'll will wait for me as long as it takes... I wanted marry him right then and there... But I don't want to hurt Andy's feelings.

I've suppressed these feelings too long, I can't do it anymore. It physically hurts me.

When I see him in the halls I try to avoid eye contact at all costs, I can't be his friend because I like him too much.

Around him I feel I'm floating. When he returned my Goodbye Puppy pen I felt like I had feelings for him. He admitted to me that the reason why he took my pen was because, in third grade he had a crush on me. Then I knew I had fallen head over heals for him.

The duet we had together that's when I knew we were both falling hard, too hard. I was scared for what would happen next, we were having a moment that shouldn't have happened between us. I wanted the moment to continue, but it's a good thing Willow walked in on us. Though now I wish I could have seen what would have happened if we finished the song... Andy and I wouldn't be friends.

Too many variables to consider... Lose a friend and gain a boyfriend or keep a friend and have no boyfriend... It's a lose-lose situation.

"Liv, honey?" My mom said knocking on my door frame while slows entering my room. "It's time to wake up."

"Why wake up when the only place I can follow my dreams, is in my sleep." I complained putting my blanket over my head. Parents don't understand that the only person who will ever snuggle with me, is my bed and my blankets.

My mom walked over to my bed and kissed me on the head. "I know it's hard to let go of a crush, but you did the right thing."

"Mommy it hurts." I said pointing to my heart. "Can I stay home?"

"I do love you, but you need to go get ready and go to school. Boys shouldn't ruin your education." My mom explained.

I grunted. "Fine!"

"Good. Breakfast will be ready in 20 minutes." She pushed me sending me rolling off my bed. "Start moving."

"Ouch!"

She chuckled then headed downstairs.

"I already know today is going to be an awkward day..." I muttered to myself walking into my closet to pick out an outfit for the day.

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About 10 outfit changes later, I finally picked an outfit to wear today. I decided to wear a turquoise long sleeve lace shirt, dark jeans with white strappy heals.

I rushed down the stairs hoping to make it on time for breakfast. "Sorry I'm a bit late mom."

"It's okay honey bunch." She said passing me a plate on pancakes and sausages. "Eat quickly you have 10 minutes till we have to leave."

I quickly scarfed down the pancakes and sausages then went to go brush my teeth. "I'm ready!" I yelled walking towards the front door.

"Maddie! Parker! Joey! Pete! Come on!" My mom yelled going down the stairs meeting me at the front door.

Everyone came running down the stairs. We all got into the van and then drove off.