The Diary Of Hazel (Diary Series #1) | ✔

☆ Hazel's Diary Entry #23 ☆

Dedication: TintedMelodies, hey! Thank you for all the reads, votes, and comments :) They're all SO appreciated, as are you <3 xx

Date: 18/03/16, Friday

Time: 8:08pm

Dear Mister Diary,

I haven't written since Wednesday night, and that's because I haven't known what I would write.

What happened, happened. There's nothing I can do about it now, except fake my smiles, and pretend that everything's okay when it clearly isn't.

No one's called me out on it except Liam, he's noticed, and as much as I appreciate how observant he is, I don't want anyone worrying about me. Tess has been too caught up with Cinderella to take any notice, which stings, but I want her to be happy.

So I'm glad that she is.

I just wish someone would care about my happiness.

Anyway, I should probably get to why I'm writing tonight.

I'm no longer a virgin.

Yup, that happened about half an hour ago.

I just don't care anymore (Lie), Trent kept pushing and pushing, so I gave in. Not that I wanted to, but I did anyway. He wouldn't stop asking, putting his hands in places that I didn't want him to, I kept saying no and pushed him away. 

But he wouldn't listen, so eventually, I hesitantly agreed.

I just laid there the whole time, feeling numb emotionally, while he did his thing.

But what hurt more than losing my virginity? The fact that he didn't care to ask where the large bruise on my rib came from.

He didn't care when he ran his hands along it roughly, causing me pain. Making me relive Wednesday night all over again.

Which ignited the realisation within me that I'm right, Trent doesn't care about me as much as I thought he did.

As much as I do about him.

I really like him, and even though I wasn't ready to do that, it doesn't mean that I would never have wanted to.

I just wanted to wait, I wanted it to be somewhat special. 

I guess it's too late for that now though.

He left straight after too, such a gentleman, right?

I can't help but wonder if Hunter would have been pressuring like that? Would he notice my bruise? Would he have left right after the deed was done?

But I shouldn't think of him, definitely of 'what if's.

I am thinking of regrets though.

I regret giving in to Trent, I regret inviting him over for movies, and I regret letting him leave without talking about this.