The Diary Of Hazel (Diary Series #1) | ✔

☆ Hazel's Diary Entry #3 ☆

|| Olivia Pwell at the top, played by the beautiful and talented Holland Roden! <3 ||

Feeling alone is something I've grown accustomed to, teaching myself to appreciate the silence.

But sometimes, it's the silence that gives you an aching head, a stomach not much better, and a mix of negative emotions that simmer deep in your heart. 

Much like a hang over - no one wants loneliness but everyone gets it. One way, or the other.

And as depressing as this may sound; I'm used to it.

I have one true friend and that's enough for me. I might not have a mum sober enough to love me, a sister who cares, a dad who isn't a criminal, or popularity.

But I have Liam, and myself. 

That's all I need right now.

I mean, I kind of have Olivia too. She's my on and off again girlfriend, she's honestly great, but she has a lot going on too, so we barely get to see each other. Hence the 'off' part of our relationship.

I could also do with an idea of what I'm going to do after my last year at school, which ends in eight months, but that's harder to figure out than it seems.

Despite what my sister thinks, I do have a life and I deserve to make the most of it, just like everyone else in this controversial world we live in.

A door slamming shut cuts through my thoughts, and I'm back to where I was before I let my mind drift away. The kitchen, alone and doing nothing.

"Verona! Hunt-er... Anyone home?" A loud, mid-toned voice slurs. It sounds like my mum's home and had made it to the living room already. It also sounds like she forgot her own daughter's name.

Of course she's drunk before seven, before she's done anything that resembles what a mother does. 

I guess I'll be making my own dinner again, and eat it alone - as always.  

I debate on whether I should answer or flee away like my sister did just hours ago. But I'm nothing like her. 

So instead, I pick myself up from where I'm sitting on the cold granite counter, and make my way to the arch that joins the living room to the kitchen.

My tentative eyes land on my mum haphazardly strewn across our two-seater maroon sofa, head falling off the edge and her giggles going with it as soon as she sets her bloodshot eyes on the only one of her children that are here to help her. Me.

"Oh, it's you, I was hoping for Verona." She grumbles, trying to sit up, and I watch as if it's in slow motion as her body fails to do what her brain wants, evidently causing her half conscious self to fall completely off the sofa.

"Veronica." I correct her absentmindedly, having done this way too many times to count.

My mum doesn't seem to hear what I say though. That, or she's ignoring the fact that she doesn't remember what she named one of her children. Yeah, I might not get along with Veronica, but in the end, I'll love her infinitely. But I am always the one who's there to deal with mum, whereas my sister is always conveniently M.I.A. 

"Are you going to help me, or are you just as useless as your father?" 

This time, I'm the one doing the ignoring as I move forward and silently help her up. Once I've done so, I continue to half-carry/half-walk her, to her bedroom. All the while, she's grumbling incoherently and tripping over herself.

I can't help but think that this is the only condition I ever see her in lately. I can't remember the last time she acted like my mother, not a patient.