Alone in her room, Lucy took time to think over everything Nana had told her. She didn't want to believe it. She wanted to keep thinking that humans were evil creatures whose sole purpose was to cause pain. True, there were those that were kind, but from what she experienced, most were cruel.
"Out of fear, the humans labeled us as evil. Along the way, defending themselves became cruelty to us. So we're cruel right back."
Lucy shook her head, trying to put Nana's words out of her mind. Whether she was right or wrong, she had done what was necessary to survive. The humans had done that and more, they had made her suffer.
"Why did you tear off my arms and legs and then let me suffer?"
"Shut up!" Lucy snapped. "Stop making excuses for them." 'Or am I the one making excuses?'
Kaede's voice spoke to her. 'Why dwell on such thoughts? Does it matter who was right and who was wrong? Even if you did go beyond what would be considered necessary to survive. As you pointed out, you took no pleasure in killing or causing pain. Although the humans did seem to enjoy causing you pain.'
Lucy felt somewhat relieved by Kaede's words. Yes, those tests were cruel, most unnecessary. Those scientists were definitely heartless bastards. She had no regrets about killing them. But some of the people, such as Kohta's sister and father, she didn't have any right or reason to kill them. It was those type of people she was sorry for killing.
'Do not feel sorry for those insects.' Kaede told her. 'They are nothing. Many more humans will die before this is through. We will kill all those that stand in our way.'
"No!" Lucy snapped. "I am done killing. Never again will I kill."
'Killing humans is in our nature. Our instincts tell us to kill the humans so that we may replace their species with our own. That's why you found it so easy to kill in the past, because it was what your instincts told you to do.'
"I'm not some wild animal. My instincts don't control me. I have a mind of my own. I'm in control of what I do. I want nothing to do with what my instincts say. Kill humans, infect them with the Diclonius gene, be the queen of the Diclonius species, I want none of it, and I will have nothing to do with it."
When Kaede spoke again, she sounded slightly irritated. 'Then we have a problem. As I told you before. I act upon your desires, but I also act upon our instincts. I will do what's in our nature whether you want to or not. And that includes killing humans. Even Kohta, if he stands in our way.'
"No!" Lucy cried, both fearfully and angrily. "I will never allow you to harm anyone, especially Kohta."
She received only a chuckle. It was just as she thought, this new personality couldn't be trusted. It was primitive and violent, acting without morals or conscience. Lucy may have done horrible things in the past, but she was nowhere near the level Kaede was. She couldn't allow Kaede to take control again. The killing had to stop!
There was a knock at the door. "Nyu, are you ok?"
Lucy's heart skipped a beat. "Kohta…"
"We're all waiting for you. Don't take too long."
Now her heart was racing. She was with Kohta again. She would have to see him for the first time since she confessed everything. Back then she'd had no regrets, thinking she was going to die. Now she was back with him again, and she was… terrified. She would have to face him again.
