We Are Powerless. (An Oli Sykes FF)

Chapter 14

Hellooooos muchachos <3 Another chapter for you guys, are you excited? I seriously LOVE to write this, I enjoy it way more than anything I've ever written before, I don't even know why, it's just so damn fun and I love to see you guys enjoy it. Thank you for supporting me with your votes/comments/reads, I couldn't appreciate it more :3

Song this time is something slightly different but I love this song so much. It's Green Eyes Make Me Blue - Dead Cool Dropouts. So please grab yourself some icecream and get comfy while hopefully enjoying this chapter! c:

I might as well put a little TRIGGER WARNING! here, because this chapter has parts of sexual assault / rape and selfharm in it. I just want to make sure you don't get triggered by this. You're better than a little piece of metal, stay strong. And if you need someone to talk to, you can always message me, don't forget that. Don't forget that I care about you and I'm not the only one <33

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Cassandra's POV:

I was literally paralyzed when Oliver just rushed past me and left the apartment, slamming the door behind him. And with the door slam everything crushed.

Literally everything.

Of course he was fucking right! Of course I was scared of Travis for doing that. Who knows if he would've stopped without Oli interrupting. But him placing bets on me? Where did he even get that from? And what if he was right? I felt tears dwell up my eyes and rolling down my cheek.

Suddenly... I felt the big urge to cut myself.

I haven't felt like this since I moved away from my old city. I rolled up the sleeves of my hoodie and looked at my scars. No fresh ones, but still they were there. And they would never fade completely. They would be part of me forever.

Just like this little voice in the back of my head that would scream at me 'Do it! You know you want to.'

But no, I knew better. I was strong enough for this. I had to be. I didn't want to get in this hell anymore. Yeah, the situation couldn't get any worse. My brother committed suicide, my father abused my mother, my mother was sent to a psychiatric hospital, my best friend was angry at me for no particular reason and my boyfriend just tried to rape me.

But that wouldn't make me selfharm again. Once you've hit rock bottom there's nowhere to go but up again, right? But I didn't even notice it was already too late. Why these thoughts were running through my head, voices screaming at each other inside of me, I was scratching my scars furiously. Some of them opened up a bit.

As I noticed the warm blood running down my lower arm, I stopped immediately. I was such a failure. I couldn't even keep a promise. No one loved me, in fact they all hated me. Everybody leaves. I closed my eyes and tried to calm my breath. But it just wouldn't work. My hands were shaking, I felt like I wasn't getting enough air and panted heavily. I rushed into the bathroom and washed my face with cool water.

"Calm down, Cass. You need to calm down", I whispered to my reflection as I looked in the mirror.

I hated my reflection. I was looking tired, exhausted. Apparently I've been crying more than I was aware of, my makeup running down my face. Eyes red and swollen.

"FUCK EVERYTHING!", I screamed as I took the mirror off the wall and threw it to the ground.

I broke down to my knees crying. Why did I get this?

NEXT DAY

The next day I woke up, I got myself ready. I quickly checked my phone to see if Oli replied to any text messages I had sent him yesterday before I finally went to sleep. But, no. 0 messages.