Living for the fat girl [Book 2]

Part 39

From here I can see tears welling up in her eyes and my chest tightens uncomfortably. Speechless and incapable of coming up with an answer, I stay silent. She hadn't been a good mother to me. Sure, she had provided for me... so had my father. Neither of them realized that a child needs more than just material things. Money doesn't make a good parent.

When my mother doesn't speak, I wish for Arya to be here. She always knows how to speak about things like that.

"I'm going to try to be better. I've left your father."

I take a deep breath through my nose as another wave of pain mercilessly tortures me.

"So that'll be Ms. Parks again?"

"Mom will do..." The right corner of her mouth pulls up into the tiniest of smiles. "But yes, I'll be Ms. Parks for now. There's no going back to him. I should have listened to you. You were right from the beginning. Your father is toxic. I will survive without him. I don't need him."

"That sounds really great."

The conversation dies down a little and I know she doesn't want to overwhelm me. I'm grateful for that. I'm not sure how much I can handle at this point. My mother had left my father once before, just before high school graduation. It seems like years ago now. It didn't take long for him to worm his way back into our lives... This time, however, feels different. My mother has changed. She is ready to accept help.

"Are you in pain now?" My mother cups my face and although the touch feels foreign, I try to keep my expression in check. Mostly because I really am in pain and trying hard not to show it. I need relief.

"Yeah," I choke out.

"I'll get them to take care of it. Try to sleep some more."

She removes her hand from my face and turns to walk. Once she's halfway across the room, I remember something.

"Did someone pick up my stuff from that hotel?"

My mother turns and nods. "It's all in your old room. Why? Did you need something? A change of clothes? I can get it for you. Or are you looking for something specific?"

I shuffle uncomfortably in my bed.

"Can you just bring the duffle bag here? Just the whole thing?"

"Sure, Seth." There's a glint in her eye but my own eyes are starting to close now.

"Mom?" She'd been walking again but turns immediately at that, eyes a little wider than just seconds ago. "Can I see Paulina soon?"

"Arya is picking her up from home in a couple of hours. Try to get some rest. I think they're planning a late Christmas celebration."

With that thought in mind, I close my eyes and concentrate on nothing but the imagined picture of the love of my life and my baby sister making plans together. Not even the ever-lasting throbbing in my temples can distract me or take that thought away. It's the only thing keeping me afloat in a sea of pain.

*

The administered medication has done a number on me but surely did work. When I wake from another hour-long sleep, it's not unpleasant. I don't feel nauseous or dizzy. My head actually feels blissfully numb. For a moment, I'm even sure that I'm imagining soft music playing but when I focus on my surroundings, I realize that the music is very real.

I rub my eyes and stifle a yawn. Then the picture in front of me becomes clear.

My mother, Arya and Paulina all have their backs turned towards me as they're hovering over something out of my sight. Paulina is dressed in a red velvet dress and her curls are pinned and covered up by a fluffy Santa hat. She's sitting on Arya's lap and from here it looks like she couldn't be more comfortable.