I havent writen in awhile.. ive been meaning to. Its just that its getting bad again. My friends... one of my best friends who ive had trouble with every now and again i dont know i love her more then anything its just that its hard talking to her, some things she does i have no idea how to react. When we were fighting one of her friends was a bitch to me.
My boyfriend still seems distant. He keeps ignoring me or going away for days at a time and the excuse are getting worse and worse. I love him but he keeps hurting me so bad.
These holidays has brought me so much joy but so much pain.
I've gotten closer to my family so thats good.
Im not looking to go back to school because that means i have to deal with everyone and everything and i dont think im ready to do that. I dont feel as close to my friends i try to talk to them as much as i can but sometimes i get into the mood where i just want to talk to patrick... but hes not there, he isnt much anymore. I miss our old talks and how we used to be before you keep leaving me and dissappearing on me. I wish i could leave you and see how you worry.. but you know i could never do that to you because i love you so much more then you ever know. You just dont seem interested anymore.
No one does. I feel so alone. I have been for awhile.. well ages it just never really goes away. Its always in the back of my head reminding me. Im worthless and i will always be worthless. Im lucky to have a handsome and amazing boyfriend, im lucky to have such great friends im lucky to have a family.
Im lucky to be alive. Even though sometimes i don't want to be, sometimes i get sick of it all.
-LoveJustHappens
YOU ARE READING
Rant Book
Non-FictionWhen something happens I write. I write because I can't deal with it. So I write it down. Here is my feelings. Soznotsoz if this offends you
