Jay Cee El

Fourteen // Don't Cry, It's Only The Beginning

"You've all worked really hard to be here. You've passed hundreds of people and their auditions, you've made the cut from one hundred and twenty down to sixty. You are all so talented." Brittany said. I nervously bit down more on my nails, feeling as if something was going to go terribly wrong.

"I'm sorry to have to say this," Simon began, "But you're not being put through."

And just like that, every hope and every dream I had of becoming an professional singer and doing what I loved most in the world, crashed and burned to the floor. After believing that I could really do this, that I could really live my dream, this was a hard wake up call. I felt so stupid for auditioning. I felt horrible that I couldn't do this, that I couldn't do the one thing that I was supposed to be good at. It was foolish for me to even audition, I should have known that I wouldn't make it. It was embarrassing for me to even try.

This feeling of worthlessness settled in and my eyes burned with tears. I felt so talentless and pathetic. I felt like I wasted my entire summer on trying to do something that I so obviously couldn't. Those were just a few feelings that were jumbled up in my head and in my heart. I was hoping, no praying, to get through to the judges homes. I wanted to work the judges and I wanted to sing in front of a live audience. I just wanted to start my dream.

My knees were weak as I tried to find my way off the stage. My entire body grew numb and I felt the need to sit down. I just wanted to sit down and cry. Tears began to slowly slip down my face as I pushed open the doors and walked slowly over to the wall that was there. I pressed my back against it and slide down until my butt was touching the floor.

I wrapped my arms around my knees and finally let out the sobs that I was holding back. All the daydreams of this, all the wishes and prayers, it was all wasted. I should've been praying for something else, wishing for something better. I shouldn't have been so foolish.

As another sob racked through my body, I heard some movement from my right. I looked up and saw a red eyed Beck sit down next to me. I sent him a sympathetic smile and leaned into his side. He loved to sing just as much as I did, he wanted to do this so badly. I still can't believe he didn't get in, he should have been able to get in. I wish he got put through, even more than I wish I had gotten through myself.

"Liz," I looked up when I heard my name. A cameraman was aiming one of their black cameras at me and I mentally groaned. I was a crying, brokenhearted mess and they wanted to film me? They could film anyone else and yet they chose me? "Can you tell us how you feel?" He asked.

"How I feel?" I laughed bitterly. "I feel pathetic. I feel horrible. I feel like such a disappointment. I don't want to go home. I don't want this to come to an end. I don't want to say goodbye to the people I've met. More importantly I just... I don't want to give up on my dream. If there was something, anything that I could have done differently. If I had picked a different song, or if I got paired with someone else, if..." I had to stop because of the cries that blocked off any words that tried to get out.

I held up my hand, signaling that I couldn't go on. The cameraman seemed to understand, he had gotten up to go and talk to someone else. As soon as he was gone Beck wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into a hug. "Why did I even do this? I'm going to look so pathetic when this airs. People are going to think I'm a weak, stupid, and talentless girl. I never should have listened to my family." I cried into his chest.

"Liz, shh. No one is going to think that, okay? You have so much talent, you have more talent in your pinky finger than some of these people do in their entire bodies. Something good is going to happen to you. This isn't the end okay? Don't cry, it's only the beginning."

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I was getting ready to leave the arena when I felt a hand on my elbow. I jumped in surprise and turned around, my eyes meeting with the familiar blue ones of Mark. His face lit up into a smile and he breathed a sigh of relief. I was told to meet at the snack table and although I was confused, I did as directed.

There was a large group of people there, too many to count. I think it was most of the people who didn't get put through. Beck was among them and when he met my gaze he gave me a questioning look. I shrugged my shoulders and moved to stand next to him. Mark approached the group of people with a smile on his face and a clipboard in hand.

"Alright listen up, when I call your name I want you to go directly to the stage. Marty Daves, Josh Dennings, Elizabeth Johnston, Sam Tener, Beck Simpson, Caitlin West, and Julie Willows."

When I heard Mark say my name I grew nervous, thinking of what could be going on. I was still so upset over not getting put through that I wasn't thinking straight. I thought that maybe, I left something in here. Like my phone or something, oh but that wouldn't work, I just called my mom and told her the news of me being sent home.

Fresh tears burned my eyes at the thought but I willed them away, following Beck as we made our way to the stage once more. All the judges were standing, talking to each other quietly. When they heard and saw us enter the theater they all quieted down, sitting in their seats. All seven of us were standing in the middle of the stage, a mix match of us all.

Simon looked at each of us individually for a moment and when his eyes settled on me I grew nervous. What was he doing? "Hey guys, how are you doing?" He asked

I heard someone mutter 'suck my dick' and I stifled a laugh. I wasn't sure who said it, though I had a feeling it was one of the guys. Simon didn't hear, and that was a good thing. "So the other judges and I have been talking about you seven and well, we don't know what exactly to think."

"Liz, love," He spoke up, "Can you stand with Caitlin? And you too Julie." Simon said. I grew even more nervous at his words. Was he putting us into groups? I walked away from Beck and went to stand next to the pink haired girl, who had to be Caitlin. Julie came into view and my eyes widened at who she was. She was the brown haired girl that had a problem with me.

"And now your four boys, stand together." Simon said. The four boys managed to slowly get into a circle and Simon smiled. "You are all too talented to waste, so we are inviting you to return to the competition as groups." Simon announced.

My eyes widened as my mouth dropped at his words. Never would I have pictured myself in a band. I had also pictured myself as a solo act, always. But Simon had other ideas, ideas that meant I was still in the competition. I wasn't in it alone anymore, but I was in it nonetheless.

I turned to face the two other girls I had yet to really meet, and took in them. Caitlin had her head in her hands and I could tell she was crying. Her pink hair was falling around her shoulders, framing her head. Julie was right next to her, though she wasn't doing that much. She was just standing there, staring at the judges in shock. As I looked at the two girls my eyes began to fill with tears and I walked over to Caitlin, wrapping my arms around her petite frame. Her shaking arms wrapped around my waist as we embraced.

I called out for Julie, causing her to break from her gaze and look over at us. She made a move to wrap her arms around us, the first group hug that we would partake in.

The sound of Simon laughing quietly brought the loud room - the boys on the other side if the stage were being so loud - and he was able to speak. "Welcome back to the competition you guys."

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And now they are in a group. Yay! I just want to point out that in the rewritten version of JCL, they were put in a group in chapter four and this is fourteen haha

But seriously I hope you are all enjoying the rewritten version. I know it's taking longer to get the boys in, and I promise they will be here soon, but I need to build their relationship before I can start writing the boys' story. So please just hold on to your horses, the boys will be here soon.

Please VOTE and COMMENT my lil' Gummy Worms. Ilysm and it means the world when you comment, even if it's just a simple hi or something.

~ Amanda xx

-Picture on the side is of Liz.