catfish // mgc

☼ s i x t y - f o u r ☼

/// important a/n at the end fam ///

The thing about sadness is that it demands to be felt. It burns and aches and forces you to notice it. It's like... the super popular girl at school, if you will. But it's deep in you, in your heart, in the curls of your hair to your toes and it begs to be remembered. I can never seem to remember happiness in the same way I remember sadness. Maybe I should start tapping all the happy moments I have to my wall so I'll never forget them ever again.

You know when you get dumped, everything just feels different and your whole world feels like it's come crashing down on top of you and you're desperate to do just about anything to feel a little better? Maybe you turn to alcohol, or sleeping with anything that has a pulse – like that one quote; "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else", or something along those lines. In most cases, I like to think most girls just give themselves "makeovers", like changing their clothing style or hair, or just the way they do things in general, y'know?

Maybe he liked the way you were obsessed with those one ripped jeans, or he liked the way your hair elegantly reached your waist, like you were fucking Rapunzel or something. Maybe he liked the way that you just had to sniff every single candle and perfume in Bath & Body Works, or the way you color-coordinated your shirts, so now you just throw them all in your closet and call it a day.

Not saying that I necessarily got dumped, but you get the point.

The thing was though, I wasn't sad. For some reason, I didn't feel sad. I remember when Dylan and I broke up, even though I left him and he was such a jerk to me, I still felt miserable. I cried so much for so long and I convinced myself that I never was going to be happy. I remember how I was constantly changing myself to what he liked. He liked my hair short so I always cut it short. He liked how organized I was, and after we broke up I became such a messy person. I was a mess. But this time, I felt powerful. I never once thought that maybe this plan wouldn't work and I'd lose Michael forever. I had faith in myself, in us. However, I only had so much confidence.

Gluing the last piece of paper into the book, I grinned.  After admiring my work, and making sure there were no mistakes, I closed it and put it away for now. I glanced at a framed picture I had of Michael and I sitting on my desk and a small smile crept on my face. It'd been a week since he last talked to me and I missed him like hell, but I'd come to terms with the fact that I needed to give him some space. I kept myself busy with work and projects for the week that passed by so I didn't fall into too deep of a hole.

My phone beeped.

Ash: about to get on the plane for 'lanta babyyy!!!!

Mae: please never say that again

Ash: shut up and be happy that the plan is working

Mae: love u hella

Ash: we should be landing in like 4 hours

Mae: I'm kind of nervous

Ash: this will work, mae

Mae: it better cause I don't have a backup plan.

Ash: gtg, airplane mode activated

Mae: have a safe flight x

Ash: you too x

Ash: wait, you're not flying anywhere nevermind

Ash: I meant drive safe

Mae: shut up and get there in one piece